Friday, September 29, 2006

Divorced Republicans Protecting Marriage

Marylin Musgrave's recent idiotic comment that stopping gay marriage is the most important issue facing Americans today got me thinking of posting hypocrisy at it's best.

Former Senator Bob Dole--divorced
Senator Libby Dole- Man stealing Hussy
Newt Gingrich - divorced his wife who was dying of cancer.
Dick Armey - Former House Majority Leader - divorced.
Senator Phil Gramm of Texas - divorced.
Former Governor John Engler of Michigan - divorced.
Former Governor Pete Wilson of California - divorced.
George Will - divorced
Senator Lauch Faircloth - divorced.
Rush Limbaugh - 3 divorces.
Senator Bob Barr of Georgia - has been married three times. (He had the audacity to author and push the "Defense of Marriage Act.")
Senator Alfonse D'Amato of New York - divorced.
Senator John Warner of Virginia - divorced Elizabeth Taylor.
Senator George Allen of Virginia - divorced.
Representative Helen Chenoweth of Idaho - divorced.
Senator John McCain of Arizona - divorced.
Representative John Kasich of Ohio - divorced.
Representative Susan Molinari of New York- divorced.
Senator Kay Baily-Hutchinson-Divorced
Sandy Rios - Concerned Women for America

Torture Bill

I am sickened that my two Democratic Senators voted in favor of the torture bill yesterday. What the hell are they thinking?

I literally have no one from either major party to vote for this year. My current Republican congressman is an insane theocrat who would probably throw me in a concentration camp if he and his Christofascists minions had their way. His opponent Paul Aronsohn thinks playing Republican lite is the best method for a Democrat to govern. He won't even answer direct questions at local forums on how he would represent the district and his website offers very little substance.

Sen. Menendez voted for DOMA in 1996 and now supports torture and his opponent Kean Jr will be just another rubber stamp, war supporting Republican.

I am disgusted at the lack of decent human beings to choose from. I was thinking instead of putting out signs supporting candidates, I will put out their signs with great big "X"s on them.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Court Next Tuesday

We have our next federal court hearing Tuesday in what seems like a never ending US immigration saga. We hope Emilio finally obtains asylum, but for different reasons than we held before.

Prior to applying for residency in Canada we put all of our hope in asylum based on sexual orientation because it was the last avenue offered for us to stay together. Our eggs were in one basket and the weeks building up to our many court dates were physically and mentally draining. Now we want asylum for him so we can travel to Canada to see our future home country. He cannot travel until he obtains some form of legal status in the US.

I didn't realize until now how completely empowering it was to file those documents back in February to the CIC. (Citizenship and Immigration Canada). I haven't stressed at all about next weeks hearing because we took the power away from the US government to determine our destiny, and it feels great.

Even if Emilio does not obtain asylum, we still have one more appeal and the bureaucracy of US immigration will stretch that out for at least the year we need in order to say "Adios" United States.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Christians and Torture

The disgusting irony of President Bush and his cabal of phony Christians fighting over the appropriate level of torture on other human beings is not lost on me.

These same dumbasses spend every single Sunday at church staring at a depiction of Jesus on the cross and mourn the horrific torture he endured.

It appears Christianity is a mere political convenience for them rather than an actual philosophy to live by. They soil the reputation of Christianity and our country in one swoop.

Monday, September 25, 2006

The Wonder Wagon

Yesterday Emilio and I went up to the poconos to sponge paint my brother and sister in law's bedroom. They have 4 kids and had an addition built on to add on two very much needed extra bedrooms.

The day was in no way different than the usual weekend get togethers with our family other than we were slapping sponges on a bedroom wall. The almost 4 year old rough and tumble twins were having the best time playing with our dog Katie. Our 11 year old bright and athletic nephew was bopping in an out of the room with his sunny disposition telling us about his baseball games. Our lovely 16 year old niece offered a big hug and a kiss before she went out to be with her boyfriend for the day. Our beautiful sister in law who became one of my closest friend 17 years ago and my brother who I have proudly witnessed become the greated Dad I have ever seen.

My spry Mom and Dad came over with two trays of baked ziti and homemade chocolate chip cookies. Later on my amazingly smart and talented oldest niece from one of my other brothers came over and she and I chatted about her college and the guy she likes who is co-starring with her in an upcoming play.

Around 8pm Emilio and I decided to go home. We piled into our "extra" car. Which is a 22 year old station wagon that went from one brother, to another and then to me and Emilio. We use this car for house projects and as an extra commuter car. We call it the "Wonder Wagon" and I sing a variation to the Wonder Woman theme about this car that I have fallen in love with over the last couple of years. Sure it has no air bags or ABS brakes, but when I take it to work there isn't even another car from it's decade in the lot! It simply makes me smile with it's falling down headliner, noisy carburator, dirty white walled tires and third row seat that is reversed to look out the back window.

As we are crossing the Delaware River Bridge I said to Emilio that I will miss the wonder wagon wshen we move to Canada.

The reality is the wagon is just a small part of an entire day with the people I love that I am going to miss. I don't know if I am mentally preparing myself or mentally torturing myself.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

I am a gay American

The former Governor Jim McGreevey was on Oprah this week plugging his book "The Confession" that tells his story of being closeted. Despite my better judgement I watched the show and was very impressed with his depiction of how dangerous the closet can be and how our society needs to change it's attitude regarding GLBT citizens.

I am also angry. Having lived in NJ all my life I know there is a reason we are known as the most corrupt state in the union. Politicians of all stripes get away with outright graft, nepotism, pension dipping with no show jobs, and party loyalty over the citizen's welfare.

Just prior to his "I am a gay American" speech, our local media was covering a couple scandals of his administration. One was his blatant use of overseas personal trips that he charged to the tax payers. The other was his hiring of Golan Cipel as head of New Jersey's Homeland Security Department. A job Cipel was not even remotely qualified to obtain and given to him just after 9/11. It turns out Cipel was his alleged lover, Cipel denies there ever was a relationship and that McGreevey was sexually harrasing him.

The reason I am angry is because McGreevey didn't just come out because Cipel was going to out him, he came out because he was about to be thrown out of the Governor's mansion. Now he is seeking to profit from his terrible behavior with his book.

I also had to remove myself from our state's leading GLBT group for two reasons. The first being that they keep endorsing candidates that are publically against marriage equality and second they have embraced McGreevey as a role model, giving him a book release reception and embarrasingly gushing about him in our local papers.

The icing on the McGreevey cake was this quote:
....Once publicly opposed to gay marriage, former New Jersey Governor James E. McGreevey now says he spoke out against the idea as a way to keep his homosexuality hidden.
"I did not want to be identified as being gay, and it was the safe place to be," McGreevey said Tuesday in an interview with The Associated Press. "I wanted to embrace the antagonist. I wanted to be against it. That's the absurdity."

So in other words he has such a large ego that his political career was more important than safety and protection of millions of GLBT people.

I am happy he has found happiness and peace, but dammit where was he in 2004 when I had to fight motor vehicles for a license for Emilio because our Domestic Partnership is not honored while Marriage Licenses are valid as a form of ID". Where was he when we got our original deportation order and went to the Newark, NJ court for the first time?
Where was he when lesbians prior to Laurel Hester could not protect their families before their untimely deaths?

I know where he was, he was out doing guys at rest stops as he so readily admits in his book. Too little, too late, too convenient, too greedy.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

"My Friend" Emilio

Emilio and I decided to open a home equity loan for the balance we owe on the new car so we can the hold the title as a requirement for Canadian car importation.

I filled out an application awhile ago through our online banking system. After my calls and e-mails were basically being ignored I reached complete frustration so I asked Emilio to go to the local branch near his office and find out what's the problem.

Emilio decided to conference call me along with the branch representative. The man begins by referring to Emilio as "my friend". I corrected him and said, "he is my partner". A minute later he refers to him as "my friend" again. I told him. "Emilio and I have a legal domestic partnership in New Jersey, he is my partner." After the third time I just gave up.

When Emilio got home he said he had the same problem with the guy.
I am really looking forward to Friday when I meet the man in person to sign the papers. It should prove to be fun.

Last year I had minor surgery and the anesthestiologist asked me who is the guy that is with me. I said, "He is my husband, Emilio". He was dumbfounded and said with confusion "husband???". I again told him, "Emilio is my husband". With complete shock he asked how long we were married. I said matter of factly, "almost 4 years". We really get a kick out of these people's reactions.

I wonder how it is in Canada where GLBT people can obtain legal marriage. Do they refer to each other as husbands and wives. Is the culture getting used to the idea that the title is not owned by heterosexuals any longer?

Tuesday, September 19, 2006


Some people get scared when you put a mirror in front of them. Recently Rosie O'Donnell made the following statements.

Rosie O'Donnell: "Radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America where we have separation of church and state." (ABC's "The View," 9/13/06)

Rosie O'Donnell: "And as a result of the [9-11] attack and the killing of 3,000 innocent people, we invaded two countries and killed innocent people ..." (ABC's "The View," 9/13/06)

O'Donnell: "We are bombing innocent people in other countries." (ABC's "The View," 9/13/06)

This made a minor media storm and even made the front page of the Republican National Committee's website.

Not a single statement she made is untrue. I dare them to prove otherwise. She clarified her statement using the word "radical", so unless all these Republicans personally claim to be radical Christians, I suggest they quit making hay by building their strawmen.

Perhaps Rosie put a mirror up and they don't like what they see, so they are attacking the messenger to change the subject.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Two Words Every Gay Person Should Know

In Western culture GLBT citizens are being treated unfairly due to two mistranslated biblical words.

Arsenokoitai and Malokois are ancient greek words used in early biblical writings that modern bible translators have mistranslated to mean homosexual.

Malokois literally translates as "soft". During the King James bible years it was translated as "effeminite" and in the 20th century men changed it to "homosexual". Scholars think Paul/Saul (The rock of the Christian religion) might have been referring Malokois as the young temple prosititutes used in pagan rituals. You can see it has been translated beyond any comprehension of it's literal or original meaning to be used against us.

Arsenokoitai literally translates as Arsenos "Men" Koites "Bedders".
Scholars have different interpretations. Some think it means the men who purchased the services of Malokois, others thinks it refers to specific sex acts in pagan ritual orgy worship, some think it's the pimps profiting from prostitution. Any way you look at it, it certainly does not refer to loving gay couples in any way, shape or form. The literal translation is plural, our marriages are not. In addition neither refers to lesbians at all.

It amazes me that GLBT people suffer great injustice simply because of the mistranslation of two words in an ancient language.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Uncomfortable Submission

I haven't been inspired to write about anything specific this past week so I figured I post about what I am feeling now.

I am not sure exactly what I am feeling. It's been an ebb and flow. The recent great news about Nick & Mason and Gito & John brought on much happiness, but it also brought on some fear and anxiety. It brought home what one year from now will be like for us and my inability to make plans until that time.

I am a planner, I have never liked surprises. I learned effective planning when I was in college because I was working full time during the day while taking 3 to 4 classes at night. So I had to plan my time wisely and make sure I was able to meet all deadlines. To this day the nightmares I experience are most often about not meeting deadlines, being late or not being able to achieve a goal.

I can drive people nuts with how I research things. Emilio kept joking with me about which new car I was going to choose each week because I kept researching so many models. I finally went with the best cash incentive over better gas mileage, but that took days to conclude after we dicussed many times if we needed AWD or just FWD. For weeks I consumed Consumer Reports, Edmunds, Kelley Blue Book, Yahoo Autos and Canadian Driver. When buying Emilio's car in 2004, I made him go over many different models only for us to buy his first choice. He still jokes about it.

So back to what I originally was talking about. I am controlling the things I can, like selling the sedan and covertible and buying the small SUV, but the truth is I am completely frustrated that I cannot really do a damn thing to prepare for the actual move to Canada until next summer. It is the biggest thing in our lives and it is just kinda sitting there taunting me into an uncomfortable submission. It's just not a situation I like to be in and has me a bit snappish.

To end this tirade on a good note. I raise a glass and toast the recent good fortune of our newly emigrating bloggers Nick, Mason, Gito and John.

May the saddest day of your future be no worse
than the happiest day of your past.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Update on Mom

Yesterday my Mom finished her radiation treatment. She is doing fine. We are taking her and Dad out to dinner tonight to celebrate.

I am so thankful her breast cancer was found early. Her treatment consisted of two lumpectomies and a fairly new radiation therapy where for 5 days she had a radiation seed implanted, then taken out, two times a day. After that she just has to go to follow up doctor's appointments and monitoring.

We are so fortunate to have these new invaluable treatments. I look forward to stem cell research providing a cure for cancer in the future.

My Mom is a treasure. She had a rough childhood and grew into a loving Wife and Mother. We adore her and love spending time with our family more than anything else in the world. I am also so very proud of my Dad who has tenderly cared for and supported her through this bad time.

Tears are coming now, I am just so very fortunate.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Embarrassed to be an American

Today my idiotic congress is debating horse slaughter. They literally are spending precious government time on this silly issue. Yes, I am an animal lover, but I am far more deeply concerned with the slaughter of human beings as a result of the insane policies of Republicans and specifically the murderous Bush Administration.

Today's debate is just another example of how completely out of touch American politicians are with the world. Our country is a laughing stock and today's debate is evidence of why. Democrats should have bowed out of this silly debate in protest, yet they are up there making this none issue seem important.

It gives me just another reason to be embarrassed to be an American. How sad to be 5 days away from the 5th anniversary of 9/11 and our leadership is talking about horses.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Telling People

Emilio and I had a terrific time at the wedding festivities over the weekend. It was a whirlwind of dinners, after parties, reception and brunch. We managed to spend an entire day touring Boston. We fell in love with the city.

We also spent a large amount of time talking about our move to Canada. It seems like the biggest topic people wanted to discuss with us. We must have answered a hundred questions on the issue.

The best reaction to the whole thing was our dream of moving to Nova Scotia. Anyone who had been there absolutely loved it and envied our choice in destination. It really got us excited about moving there. We were told of the giving spirit of Nova Scotians and their endless hospitality and acceptance of just about anyone they come across. Our friend's husband toured the entire region on a motorcyle and regaled us with it's beauty. Our friend Andrew (sorta a modern beatnick) smiled as he told us of the warmth of the people, even to a long haired tatooed hippy like him. Complete strangers opened there home to him as he traveled the region.

One of the junior bridesmaids told me about how her Dad just got back from visiting NS and how much he loved it there. She imagined it as described in "Anne of Green Gables" of Prince Edward Island fame. Her face lit up as she made the reference.

We left the weekend not only happy about our friend's nuptuals, but also we feel buoyed with the positive discussions of our future home.

We estimate one more year of waiting and then we will truly have equality and freedom. Thank you Canada!