Friday, February 27, 2009

Good News. Hunter and Mr Hunter are in!

From the comments

Hunter said...
The comment is not surprising. It is a good thing that the Consulate requested our passports today. . .We are in!!!

Tom said...- I am actually misty eyed reading your great news Hunter. I remember how great it felt to get to that point and the weight being lifted off our shoulders. Congrats to you both!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Ahh Republicans. Another reason to despise them.

The new RNC Chairman thinks the very suggestion of Civil Unions is crazy.

Steele on civil unions: 'Are you crazy?'

In response to a question from radio host Mike Gallagher today, RNC chairman Michael Steele took a hard, dismissive line against civil unions -- which have increasingly become a fallback, compromise position for blue-state Republicans and others who oppose same-sex marriage.

"Do you favor civil unions?" Gallagher asked:

STEELE: No, no no. What would we do that for? What are you crazy? No. Why would we backslide on a core, founding value of this country. I mean this isn't something that you just kind of like, "Oh well, today I feel, you know, loosey-goosey on marriage." I mean, this is a foundational principle of this country. It is a foundational principle of organized society. It isn't something that, you know, in America we decided, "Let's make it between a man and a woman; oh well now, let's change our mind and make it between anyone and anyone." No.

GALLAGHER: So no room even for a conversation about civil unions, in your mind?

STEELE: What's the difference?

GALLAGHER: Well, you're not calling it marriage.

STEELE: Is it?GALLAGHER: I don't know. I mean, I... I...

STEELE: I mean, like Sarah Palin said, you put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig.


My favorite comment: "The idea of a black man using the idea of our country's "founding values" to RESTRICT the rights of a particular group is absolutely hilarious."

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I'm Trying

"I'm trying" is something I keep saying to myself. I have never been one of those believers in the power of positive thinking. I believe we have an entire array of emotions for a reason. Striving to be happy all the time is a lesson in futility and a waste of energy. Now that doesn't mean to mire yourself in despair. Sometimes you gotta just be in a funk and go with it. So I've been in a funk lately, "I'm trying".

Work has been insane, we lost a key member of our team and sometimes being the strongest link isn't the easiest place to be. Despite my short temper, red face and eye twitching from elevated blood pressure, "I'm trying".

My impatience with Emilio's employment situation is no longer hidden, it can no longer remain unearthed to fester in my mind only. It's come out and I cannot let it back in. "I'm trying"

I was lied to by the President of Norstar, our condo developer. My mild obsession with making their lives as uncomfortable as they made mine may not be the right thing to do, but doing nothing is not an option, "I'm trying"

Working out has become more about stress control than looking and feeling better. I resent this. "I'm trying"

Katie has her millionth ear infection and every time I hear that painful squishing sound my heart breaks, but I am powerless to stop them from happening. "I'm trying"

I hate looking at the budget on the fridge, but it's a necessary and I avoided it way too long. I am 41 and worked hard my whole life, I should be able to do anything I want and buy anything I want. I am not materialistic or a spend thrift, yet still resent this, why is that? "I'm trying"

I am trying to be patient and understanding. I sometimes fail but more often succeed. This funk too shall pass.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

UAFA being reintroduced on Valentines Day

From Immigration Equlity

Great News! Rep. Jerrold Nadler plans to reintroduce the Uniting American Families Act on Feb. 13!You can make the bill a success by convincing your Representative to support the bill from Day One. Reintroducing the bill with as many cosponsors as possible will show powerful momentum for the rights of gay and lesbian binational couples!Please call your Representative and ask them to be an original cosponsor of the “Uniting American Families Act of 2009”

It’s easy!
Find out who your U.S. House Representative is. Go to, enter your address, and you will be provided the name of your U.S. Representative.
Call the U.S. Capitol Switchboard at (202)224-3121 and ask to be connected to your U.S. Representative.
Tell your representative’s staff:
I am calling to ask Representative ________________ to be an original cosponsor of the Uniting American Families Act of 2009. To cosponsor, he/she must contact Rep. Jerrold Nadler who is the lead sponsor.The U.S. government discriminates against gay and lesbian binational couples by not allowing us to sponsor our foreign-born life partners for immigration. Because of this, we face the terrible choice of separating from the person we love or leaving our country. As Americans, we should not have to choose between family and country. Please ask Rep. _________________ to cosponsor the Uniting American Families Act of 2009 by reaching out to Rep. Nadler before February 12.Thanks for asking your member of Congress to celebrate love this Valentine’s Day by cosponsoring UAFA!


Of course I want this to pass this time and if it doesn't it is a good indicator that the Obama administration is neither capable or willing to do anything for Gay families. This act is a no brainer and far easier to pass than marriage equlity. It's a no brainer except for the asshole Republicans that enjoy our suffering.

I also am personally glad it did not pass prior to moving here because I am living a life in Canada I never could imagine or achieve in the US. That does not mean I wish it didn't pass for others, just that I am so glad I am here despite the reasons why we were forced to come here.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

I fought back

The last year we have been in a war and the last few months I've been in a battle. The fight was against our building developer and included The City of Toronto and our local MP's office. Since November I've been writing e-mails and following up each week trying to end the nightmare that is the registration of our building. It's important because we have to pay a very high rent for our condos until the building is registered, and then we can have our much lower mortgages. So I was a pain in the ass to all three and kept at it.

I prevailed this week. It came down to threats and yesterday the President of the development company that built our building called me personally to say we should be registered the end of next week. Why did he call me? Because I did some research and found a lovely thing called Ministry of Consumer Services, a government entity that could place a huge fine on our builder if they delayed us any longer without a reasonable cause.

So I am hopeful this nightmare will be over soon and our monthly bills will go down significantly.

Monday, February 02, 2009


Since Emilio's latest layoff I've been thinking about our finances to the point of almost obsession.
We've never been dealt a fair deal in this area for the entire 7 years together. First it was Emilio's inability to obtain a work permit in the US, then various other problems. So it's mainly been on me except for a 2 year period of both of us being employed full time. I am tired of the situation and wonder when the break will come. The recent layoffs at my company have me feeling vulnerable along with really bad economic predictions.

So I was at the gym yesterday and my obsession kicked in and my eye started twitching, which I know is a sign of severe stress for me. I decided when I got home to run the numbers for the last 5 months. I was happy about a couple months and terrified at others. So I came up with a budget that is now proudly on the fridge that we will stick to come hell or high water. The belt is tightening, so you won't see Tomilio out and about for awhile. It's stay home or the poor house. If the damn condo building would get registered we will be saving about $400 to $500 per month. I am working on that with politicians, the city and some threats from good ole me.
Once again do not ever buy from Norstar Willowfield Winchester INC, to say they use minimum code is being kind and we have yet to find anyone truthful in the entire company.

Emilio is still hopeful in finding a not so much.

On a good note: Today is Emilio's 7th year anniversary being smoke free.

Update: 3:30 PM. I just read Teri's Blog in the links and my pity party is over. Read about the car wash and have a tissue ready.