Canadian Hope

Marriage and things

2010-04-22T16:15:00.003-04:00

We got married last Friday at the sky dome of the CN tower. It's was wonderful.
If anyone still read this that is a binational couple in trouble, I hope that our marriage offers some hope for you. We went through hell to get where we are and I am glad we did.

Our store has been doing well with the warm weather. Our landlord is using the new HST tax to reach further into our pockets. Greedy people suck and lose in the end. It just takes time. He is still stealing electricity from us. Actions will be taken and he has been warned.

We have our first wedding cake due this weekend for our neighbours and Emilio has been doing fantastic cakes lately.

I have to tell you how much my dogs have improved my life. They make me get out 4 times a day, and we spend lunch hours roaming the streets or at the dog park. They give me the mental break needed to work as many hours as I do in a day. I love the little noodles.

Just yapping away.

2010-03-29T13:25:00.003-04:00

This poor blog has really been put on the shelf. I sort of expected it would as life moved on. I was thinking today that Emilio and I have only been in Toronto for a little more than 2 years and so much has happened in our lives. So much so that precious non working time is not a big part of our lives. Since opening this store we have witnessed the worst in greed and blatant theft from some who we deal with and frankly I am sick of it. It's a shame so many people are this way. It's really soured me a bit. You work 7 days a week and asshats are stealing from you.

I am still politically active in immigration reform in the US and also keeping up on the Conservatives destruction of fair immigration practices here in Canada. I will never understand their complete lack of empathy for fellow human beings. Now they are reforming refugee claims, which means they will do what they did with non refugee immigrations, mass denials and no comprehensive review of each case. I am also angry at the Liberals and NDP for not combining forces for a coalition and stopping Canada from the devastation we see from the Harper government. Party loyalty is stupid, putting party before the nation is even dumber. We have both here just as much as we see in the US.

Now that the weather is nicer we enter busy season and we know this year will be better than last, we just need to keep the thieves out of our pockets so we can enjoy some rewards from all this hard labour. Here's hoping!

BBB Better Business Bureau- Complete Scam and Useless- Easy Electric Inc.

2010-03-24T08:11:00.003-04:00

Last year I reported Restaurant Liquidators aka London Major Food Inc. I dedided the bad electrician we hired last year should at least have something on their record for not providing any quote after we paid them $371.

So I decided to give BBB another chance. Was I ever wrong!
See below. The BBB is paid by businesses, it is not a government entity nor a non profit, it is an incorporation for profit. In other words useless in my opinion.

I also contacted them after my court win to see if they would help protect consumers against Restaurant Liquidators. They weren't interested in protecting the public at all.

Complaint ID#: 1205553
Business Name: Easy Electric Inc

Thank you for contacting your BBB regarding your complaint.

The complaint was received by your BBB on January 28, 2010 and has been assigned case# 1205553 in our files.

We regret to inform you that your BBB cannot process your complaint. The case has been reviewed by one of our Complaint Administrators and was found to contain issues that are out of your BBB's purview.

It is our policy to process only those complaints that fall into your BBB's scope. Items such as landlord/tenant issues, criminal allegations, requests for punitive damages, pricing issues, employer/employee disputes, cases already involved in litigation, civil right violations, business to business collection issues, cancellation of contracts, complaints under the value amount of $20, anonymous complaints, remove collection reports, etc, are not handled by your BBB.

Thank-you for contacting your BBB.

Sincerely,

Complaint Administrator
BBB Complaint Department

Where are the honest decent business people?

2010-02-09T12:18:00.003-05:00

I am really so fed up lately. It's like everyone Emilio and I deal with is dishonest. From vendors, to our building developer and even our business landlord I am so sick and tired of dealing with people who have questionable business ethics.
We give them the opportunity to do the right thing and they choose not to do it.

Today Emilio in anger said we need to start doing what they do, my answer is no we aren't that kind of people and he agreed. But we can't let them get away with it either. It's just so tiring to have people take advantage of you.

There are many decent, good and honest customers though. Emilio keeps getting praise for his cakes and I am so proud of him. We appreciate it so much when people come back to say how much they loved the cake Emilio made for them. We're still struggling through the winter though. Come on Spring!

Consumer Protections Warning: London Major Food Equipment Inc or London Major Foods

2010-01-27T13:13:00.013-05:00

Restaurant Liquidators 2008 has changed their name to London Major Food Equipment Inc. Please read our experiences on this blog with this company and also the below comments from others. I apologize to both these commenters for not seeing their post until today. I wasn't notified of your comments in the archives.

I won my lawsuit, Adam Soufan aka Nader Soufan didn't show up to two hearings and by default I won.

I will continue to make sure the public knows about this company under whatever name it works under.

They are running the same business under the new name on the internet and Kijiji. Shame on Kijiji once again for not protecting consumers. Also the BBB is useless.

Update: On November 2nd they purchased the domain London Major Foods

Update 2-16-10: In September 2009 Nader aka Adam Soufan created his new Incorporation London Major Food Equipment Inc. I went to Service Ontario and was able to obtain this information and was also told Nader Soufan has charges of fraud against him. I am now seeking to have his new business license revoked and amending my judgement claim with this new company added. Affidavits from others who were defrauded are also being worked on.

I have their articles of incorporation and the business licenses from 2007 forward with the names Nader Soufan or Adel Soufan.

Javamaster said...
Tom, I too just recently purchased equipment from Adam and would love to take part in your Lawsuit. I was consistently promised that the espresso machine would not only be delivered and installed, but they would remove the old ones and fix one of them so I would have a back up. Well that was really nice of him…Anyway he pleaded about needing the deposit before installing it because his partner. I told him I am out of town for a couple of days and couldn’t have the espresso machine down as it is most of my business and gave him $1000 (n credit card). Well a couple of day went by, still promised that he would have it delivered and INSTALLED on Monday. That said, the machine was delivered that was it. After several phone calls to Adam on why he didn’t install it he promised he would be by to hook it up. I returned back and still nothing. A couple of more days went by (It was Thursday now) and John one of Adam’s associated dropped by, but couldn’t hook it up as it didn’t have the proper power…Long story short, John said he could run the proper power but it would cost me and he wouldn’t be able to do it until the next day. That said, Friday John showed, I paid him he ran the power, hooked up the machine and turned on the water. Nothing happened so we took the from panel off and WOW, a massive expansion crack in the tank, I have pictures. So the machine was not just filthy but know useless. I asked him why he told me he tested the unit BEFORE he delivered it, he said he did, finally it admitted he tested it last winter…
He promised to have another unit Deliver that night as I had an event that evening, but no Adam, no machine. Spoke to Adam again, who said the other unit also failed but he found another one that defiantly works and he was going to pick it up Saturday morning and install it that evening. Well 9pm Saturday, No Adam. Called he said I do have the machine, and he was on his way back to his shop to hook it up to double check to see if it works. He asked if it was all possible if he could install it Sunday as he was very exhausted. I being a very patient and fair individual said fine. He said he would be here by noon. Sunday noon, No Adam. Called and left well over a dozen messages on his cell. Finally Dave the GM answered his phone and said Adam wasn’t available, but he was working on my machine as it had a leak and not working. Well, that was the end of it.
Dave said they are more than willing to refund the money. But by this point, it is too late for that I told him as I was down for a complete week, and lost a lot of revenue not to mention the events and the lost sales there. I am a coffee shop with a competitor just around the corner; Guess who got the business…And I know have to try and locate another unit.
So Tom, please contact me and we can discuss it further. Oh yeah, when I mentioned your name to him, well, contact me and I will fill you in.

Sunday, August 02, 2009 10:48:00 PM

Shawarma man said...
Restaurant Liquidators have changed their name to "London Major Food Equipment".
I'm a supplier of food equipment and sold equipment to him for which he never paid.
Story is the same; numerous phone calls, left messages, etc. Adam calls back, says he'll be in town & will pay, doesn't show up, blah, blah, same crap.
I sent this company an email based on their add on Kijiji & was told not contact again with "unsavoury comments" because it is a new company, with new employees, I don't buy it.
Another supplier has told me that Adam keeps Incorporating the companies he opens to limit personal liability, and this is definately not the first time he has changed names.
Let me know if you plan on pursuing the law suit, you can only go after him & his assets, do not file against "Restaurant Liquidators" as it'll get you nowhere due to rights of corporations.

Friday, October 02, 2009 4:04:00 PM

Life Update

2010-01-22T11:25:00.003-05:00

Emilio and I celebrated 8 years together on the 13th. We had a nice prime rib dinner at the Keg Mansion.

The store has been slow as we expected this time of year. We might close for another week in February. It's nice to get a break and why sit in a store with no customers? We know summer will be killer again just like last year. Emilio has been doing some really great thing with his cakes and I am so proud of him. He's learned so much and continues his culinary education.

We are honoured to be asked to be Godfathers again. Which in latin culture is a very big honour. Our employee Luis, who we actually think of as family now has a little brother and his Mom asked us. Emilio explained we are no longer believers but she wants us despite this. She feels we are great role models for her kids. So nice to hear that.

I spent some time reading our archives and found myself crying. I love that I recorded a bit of history of our life here and can share it with others. I think it is healthy to remember painful experiences, it makes your current everyday stresses lighter in comparison.

I was defriended again on facebook, I wear it as a badge of honor, you don't like me or my politics, then screw you! There are those of us who speak out for ourselves and others and there are those who don't out of fear. I have no respect for anyone being afraid to speak their mind and say nothing about injustices or abuses of power. Those people are the reason things like genocides happen all over the world, yet sadly these same people also seem to skate through life and obtain things easier than us loud mouths.

I had a wonderful discussion last night with a customer who used to be a member of parliament, he says he lost by 1800 votes because 10 years ago he refused to denigrate gays in his northern ontario riding. His opponent used god, gays and guns to win. We talked about US politics and me finding one Republican politician I liked, Lincoln Chafee, it turns out he actually knew Lincoln Chafee from horse shows. Very interesting man to speak with, he even met Bush when he was an advisor to Chretien. In tying this together with the above defriending, he does not regret doing the right thing and losing the election as I do not regret speaking out and losing friends. I am proud of it.

My comment to CTV-Better late then never

2010-01-10T09:33:00.003-05:00

I am requesting you stop your relationship with The Salvation Army. I am certain partnering with them goes against your human resources policy for LBGT employees. If you do not know that any of your LGBT employees are banned from working on your annual Christmas Project, then I am glad to provide you with the Army's own website explaining this information.

I moved here from the US and while they do good for some, they have refused help to LGBT families after the 9/11 attacks and have worked for years against equality in terms of housing, employment, adoption and civil rights. There are reports of them refusing to help undocumented families in Texas and abusing trans people in their shelters. You can also research stories how they worked directly with the Bush administration on anti gay initiatives.

I hope next year you will consider a new partner or handle the holiday project yourself.

"The Army regards the origins of a homosexual orientation as a mystery and does not regard a homosexual disposition as blameworthy in itself or rectifiable at will. Nevertheless, while we are not responsible for what we are, we are accountable for what we do; and homosexual conduct, like heterosexual conduct, is controllable and may be morally evaluated therefore in the light of scriptural teaching.

For this reason such practices, if unrenounced, render a person ineligible for Salvation Army soldiership, in the same way that unrenounced heterosexual misconduct is a bar to soldiership. The Army recognises the strength of feeling about sexual identity, and the difficulty many find in expressing this identity in keeping with scriptural standards."

The Government is not Canada

2009-12-31T09:28:00.002-05:00

I need to separate the two so my head will not explode. Just like The Government is not the US as I must remind many people when talking badly about things happening in my former nation.

Harper and the Governor General have done something I believe is far worse than George Bush ever did. They literally make the government cease to function for months. Proroguing Parliament as a way to avoid facing scrutiny is beyond the lying the way George Bush and his team did. I just hope this turns out the way it did in the US when Republicans shut down the government in the 90's. The backlash was extraordinary.

Back to training our 3 months old puppies, it takes time, effort and vigilance the same thing we need to do to train our politicians into remembering they work for us.

THE YEAR OF WORK

2009-12-28T09:26:00.006-05:00

I am calling this the year of WORK. 7 days a week with two full time jobs has been difficult to say the least. We're still in our first year of business and it's had it's ups and downs. Emilio and I decided we need a break so next week we are closing the store and going to be a normal family again for one full week. I am looking forward to his home cooking again.

This is the year we lost our Katie, who still comes to my mind every single day, sometimes with a smile and sometimes with a tear but always with love. Now we have the boys and I tell them about their sister and have them doing cute things she used to do, like running frantically down the hallway to our home. Makes me laugh every time. Puppies are WORK! More than I anticipated. I hope soon they will treat their big kitty brother Buster with the same respect Katie did. Buster is so patient and passive and the best cat in the world.

The WORK that really needs to be done is bringing immigration back to fairness. I know of more than a few declined applications. It is breaking my heart that the beacon of hope that was Canada for this binational couple no longer exists. It used to be a process where you had the points, the background checks and the money, then you waited in line for your turn. That system no longer exists and might have prevented us from coming here had we applied two years later. Starting a new life, creating jobs with a business and proudly paying every cent of taxes owed to this nation might not have happened. It pains me to tell other binational couples to look elsewhere for a home because of the changes to immigration and the extremely narrow 38 professions allowed in. Too many Toms and Emilios are not being allowed the chance and IT NEEDS TO STOP!

Let's make the change needed in 2010. Canada needs to be less like the USA in the coming year.

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-23T17:27:00.002-05:00

Strange Week

2009-11-13T21:43:00.002-05:00

This week was mucho stressful. My day job is turning into an overtime nightmare. Lots of work and lots of getting up in the wee hours or logging in late after I close the store.

I had a couple things happen that really made me step back. One, a friend from a long time ago who found me on Facebook earlier this year unfriended me in a really big way. You see she's become a die hard Republican robot who literally shoots out platitudes from the party like witty little factless bumper stickers. At first I thought maybe I can teach her something because on Facebook I am pretty much an open book, it's the best and usually only way I get to communicate with family and friends. So I really don't hold back on anything there, my opinions, mainly political go from my brain to the website without filters. Also because so many people who knew me back when as a very shy and assumed straight kid, now get to see someone very different. So anyway, no loss on losing her friendship, over the White House HOLIDAY Tree of all things. But it did make me think about being diplomatic and I now know you cannot be diplomatic while being teabagged by a birther.

The second thing was an e-mail conversation with a friend. Not to make too much of it but one part of the discussion was an honest take on the fact that I am very political man and it turns some people off. I live for politics, I read about it, discuss it at websites, follow the latest news on it, join boycotts, spread information on it and try to change it in my former and current nations. It's what I do and I asked myself why tonight. I spent many years not knowing the difference between a Republican or Democrat. I watched Reagan's first innaugural with awe because I was home sick from the 7th grade with the flu. I didn't realize he was my enemy at the time (his choosing not mine). I spent the 90's as a young gay man who didn't give a rats ass about our rights. By then I knew to vote Dem but really didn't know why.

So tonight I asked myself, why am I annoyingly political to some people? (in a Carrie Bradshaw kind of way) I found out very quickly why. When I met Emilio I quickly I have no rights, I am a powerless American citizen who met a guy who was my dream come true and I had no way of preserving the relationship I wanted all my life because the nation I was born in is a fucked up mess. The only way I can fight back is by being political, teaching people, staying informed and being passionate about our rights and for fairness and equality in every area, not just for gays. So I say I am proud I became annoyingly political and don't care if people don't like it. It's who I am.... take it or leave it.

New Arrivals

2009-10-20T14:58:00.002-04:00

Hunter and Abrahan arrived safely late Saturday night and we were lucky to have them stop by the store Sunday. We spent an enjoyable afternoon talking about the move and hopefully taking away some of the anxiety of being in a new country.

In fact Hunter just called me to say they think they found an apartment nearby to us. Very exciting!

We welcome our newest friends to Toronto and hope they love it here as much as we do.

This and That

2009-10-14T12:33:00.002-04:00

Today was supposed to be the settlement hearing for my court case against Restaurant Liquidators. Fortunately I requested a phone conference because the defendant did not show up, just his lawyer did. So I was awarded $100 compensation for my troubles and got a postponement. The funny thing is Restaurant Liquidators is on the same street as the court in London, Ont and Adam couldn't get there. It bodes well for my complaint against him not showing or calling when the equipment broke.

Good news on the horizon, Hunter and Abrahan arrive this weekend. The latest bi-national couple to arrive to our wonderful Canada. They are traveling quite a bit to get here since no US stopovers are allowed. Emilio and I know about that craziness all to well.

We had a lovely Thanksgiving with Adam and Eric. Originally we were invited to Doug and Rich's but we declined as it was our first day off since May and we really needed to rest in, which we did until 1:00pm. Eric came up with the brilliant idea of eating at the revolving restaurant at the CN Tower. 5pm dinner allowed us to have the view in day light and the second revolution in darkness. It was spectacular to say the least. The food was good, company was great and the view awesome.

Michael Coren is a disgrace

2009-10-03T00:14:00.003-04:00

I don't normally watch Michael Coren because the two times that I tried he came across as a whiney Catholic victim. But today I saw that Bishop Lahey of Nova Scotia was arrested for child pornography on his laptop. The Bishop was someone who brokered a multi million dollar deal for victims of priest abuse. So I turned on his show and as usual Michael Coren the church's apologist eluded the bishop was unfairly chosen from the line of people at the airport to be searched (ergo his usual catholic victimhood).

He goes on to say 85% of the cases were homosexual in nature and that the church tried to purge gays from the priesthood to solve the problem. Someone needs to teach this man that the church is a breeding ground for pedophiles, that they choose the profession as a power position of unquestionable authority to gain access to their victims, it has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

The reality is Michael Coren is more likely a molestor than the average gay man since the majority of sexual abuse cases come from straight identified men who are head of the household, related or know the family of the victim. Perhaps it's time we seek to deny him equal rights as a danger to society.

Later in the show he supported the ban on gays donating blood due to promiscuity (another swarmy look from his gap toothed pious face)

Then he chastized David Lettermen for his affairs. I only wish he had such harshness for his bishop.

Settling things

2009-09-24T09:59:00.004-04:00

We settled our differences with the IRS, basically they screwed us, threatened and I had to decide between visiting family in the future or paying them. The hurt I saw in my Mom's face this summer when I said I might not be able to come down was enough for me to pay the bastards. They still never paid Emilio or I any of the stimulus money everyone else received for 2007. Typical of why I am so glad to be in Canada.

I finally got through to the court and received some great advice. I am going into the settlement hearing with confidence next month. I also decided I can in fact do a phone conference saving me the 4 hour round trip drive and from taking off either job.

Emilio and I are preparing for fall and winter at the store. Hot Chocolate, Waffles, Panini and Soup will be added. The equipment is in and Emilio installed a exhaust system this week. He's been working on perfecting recipes.

I am feeling much better than last week. I've accepted the challenges before me will knock them off one at a time.

I spoke to Hunter earlier this week, he and his hubby will arrive in October. We're excited to have another successfull landing of a couple seperated by ignorance and bigotry in the US. Yesterday Silas stopped by the store to catch up, he and Willy are settling in nicely to Toronto. I was happy to find out he is an old movie buff just like me.

Also last week Gito and Juan and the ever adorable Fang and Trouble gave me a surprise visit during their road trip to Ottawa. So nice to see our friends from Windsor.

Onward, forward and the rest of the yadda yadda yadda.

Tough Noogies

2009-09-16T15:59:00.003-04:00

Lately I just can't seem to keep my head above water. Between work, the store, IRS, our crappy developer Willowfield Winchester and the court case against Restaurant Liquidators, I just can't stand the stress. It's overwhelming and it really all needs to just go away. A guy can only take so much.

Last weekend was the hardest working weekend of my life. There was the Cabbagetown Festival and it was a great success. We got our butts kicked with so many customers. I feel bad for being short with one woman, I was just way over-doing it and I was rude. I wish I could go back and apologize.

Just taking it one day at a time. It's all I can do.

ENDA MUST BE PASSED IN THE US

2009-08-29T13:19:00.001-04:00

In 29 states it is legal to fire someone for being gay, in 38 states it is legal to fire someone for being transgender, in all 50 states it is illegal to fire someone for their choice of religion, there is something wrong with this picture.

Bishop Hypocrite also gave $150,000 for Opposite Marriage Only

2009-08-29T10:50:00.002-04:00

Houses of worship close as house of bishop eats up cash: The more the Roman Catholic Diocese of Portland shutters its churches and puts them on the real estate market, the larger the question looms: Should Maine's bishop still be living in a million-dollar mansion?

Link
It's on Portland's tony Western Promenade. According to city tax records, the 6,970-square-foot, three-story "mansion" has six bedrooms, 4 baths, an 840-square-foot garage and an assessed value of $1,126,000.

In short, pretty nice digs by anyone's standards. Too nice, according to at least one perennial thorn in the side of Bishop Richard Malone.

"It's not about Richard Malone," said Paul Kendrick, a Roman Catholic who for years has publicly decried the church's handling of the sexual abuse of children by priests. "It's about 'What kind of church is this?'"

Kendrick fired off a mass-distribution e-mail this week after hearing that five churches – Notre Dame de Lourdes Church in Saco, St. Mary of the Assumption and St. Andre churches in Biddeford, and St. Joseph and St. Patrick churches in Lewiston – will close this year and next because of shrinking congregations, growing costs to maintain the buildings and the need to protect religious programs and services from ever-increasing parish deficits.

"Bishop Malone wants Maine's Catholics to cut costs, spend less and do without," observed Kendrick. "Everyone, that is, but him."

Tough words, to be sure, from a man who last year was threatened with official church sanctions (not to mention police arrest) if he didn't steer clear of Malone.

Still, it's not the first time in recent years that the opulence of a bishop's residence has raised eyebrows – and in a few cases, led to "For Sale" signs.

Six years ago, as the Archdiocese of Boston struggled to pay for legal claims by those sexually abused by priests, Cardinal Sean O'Malley sold the palatial cardinal's residence in Brighton, Mass., and moved into the rectory of the Cathedral of the Holy Cross in Boston's South End. The move, which caught many by surprise, won O'Malley widespread praise, even from the archdiocese's harshest critics.

Last fall, Bishop David Zubik of the Diocese of Pittsburgh put his residence up for sale and moved into a seminary to be closer to those studying to be priests. The Rev. Ronald Lengwin, spokesman for the diocese, said this week that the property, valued last fall at $1.5 million, is now under contract and will likely be sold within the next few weeks.

Zubik told the media last fall that his decision reflects "more pressing concerns" facing the diocese as it struggles to make ends meet and at the same time fulfill its basic missions, including "reaching out to the poor."

"People think it's good that he is moving in with the seminarians," said Lengwin. "And that it's good for the church."

Then there's the Diocese of Youngstown, Ohio, where Bishop George Murry put his suburban residence on the market for $339,000 three months ago and moved into a smaller home in the city. Murry also announced that many furnishings from the stately five-bedroom home would be donated to Catholic Charities.

Diocese of Youngstown Chancellor Nancy Yuhasz said Thursday that although the property has not yet been sold, Murry's decision has been "received very well by the parishioners and the clergy."

The old residence "is so large and such an expense," Yuhasz said. "It shows we're trying to be good stewards of our resources."

Back here in Portland, diocesan spokeswoman Sue Bernard said it would be a mistake to assume a connection between what it costs to run the diocese – including, for example, the $19,620 annual property-tax bill for the bishop's residence – and the ongoing efforts to bring various parishes' property more in line with their current needs.

(The diocese's operations are funded from a variety of sources, Bernard said, including a 12 percent levy on each parish's total revenue and a bishop's fundraising appeal made directly each year to Maine's estimated 200,000 Roman Catholics.)

Malone's charge to the parishes, Bernard noted, has been to determine "What do you need? Take a look at what you need and see if there's an excess there."

But might the same challenge be put to the bishop? Considering that he lives alone, does he truly need six bedrooms, four bathrooms, a three-car garage?

Bernard noted that the mansion, which has served as the bishop's residence since Bishop Joseph McCarthy purchased it for the diocese back in 1939, is used to entertain visitors to the diocese and for other social functions.

"He lives there by himself," she said, "but he isn't the only one who uses it."

What's more, Bernard said, while it's in a "lovely neighborhood," the interior could use some work. "There's wallpaper coming off in some places, peeling paint."

So why not sell it and move into the rectory at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception, where Maine's bishops lived before 1939?

In addition to generating, say, a million dollars from a sale and saving another $25,000 or so in annual operating expenses, might not such a downsizing send a powerful message to Maine's Roman Catholics about living within one's needs in these austere times?

"I'm sure there are people who would agree," Bernard conceded.

Starting, of course, with Kendrick, who titled his latest missive "Do Catholics in Biddeford, Saco and Lewiston know about this?"

"We're talking about the parishioners' money," Kendrick said, "and there's too much else to do with it."

...

Restaurant Liquidators Nightmare Continues and Good News too

2009-08-14T13:25:00.003-04:00

Last night the rear freezer broke down, the repairman says the fan is busted. So that makes yet another machine from them that broke during the warantee period. Which we don't even bother reporting anymore other than documenting for the case.

The case was moved to the London, Ontario court which caused me to write a letter to the judge expressing my dismay at such a bad decision considering the hell they have put us through already. Judge Thomson never bother to ask how this would effect me as a man with a full time job and also working at our business 7 days a week. I did get a call back saying I can request a video hearing, nothing doing, as my friend Adam advised me the court needs to hear and see the stress this has put on us. I thought about moving the case back but that still requires me going to London to petition for it. So I will be able to tell the truth about them in their own back yard, the court is on the same street as their business.

In other much better news.

Last night Silas and Willy came by the store and we were able to hang out for a bit, it was nice to see them safe and happy here in Toronto after their move here on Aug 4th I hope they learn to love it here as much as we do. Right now they looked a bt like deer in headlights.

Also a couple weeks ago Arturo and Juan from Wonderous Canadian Renewal came by to see us and we had the best time with them. We wish we lived closer to see each other more often.

What amazes me about these incredible couples is the length they go through to be together. Leaving home, friends, family, sometimes long held jobs and sometimes living through long separations. That's love for you! Thank you Canada for giving us a home and more importantly hope.

This, That and the Other

2009-08-08T12:40:00.003-04:00

Working so much doesn't allow much time to monitor things we used to on a regular basis. For example I discovered yesterday our bank charged is $397 in fees on our business account for June and July. This ridiculous amount shows one of the few areas the US beats Canada. Banking here is like banking in the US in the 80's, the fees are insane and people just shrug it off. As an ex USian I just cannot. So I have our bank checking it out. I will gladly remind them TD is opening a branch soon in the neighbourhood and money has no loyalty.

Today I purchased the first winter transition piece of equipment. It's a double Belgian Waffle Maker that we hope will help transition the store into colder temperatures. We have some other ideas we're going to piece together like maybe paninis and soups.

Despite all the hard work we're still paying down the debt which every new business must deal with. Sales are still good. We're worried about the winter though.

I wish I had something other than the business to talk about. We may go to Taste of Danforth this afternoon as soon as help arrives (barring any expected Thunderstorms)

Excitement in the air- More Newcomers

2009-07-22T09:36:00.003-04:00

Not only will Silas and Willy be moving to Canada next week, but I had the pleasure to speak with Hunter a couple of days ago. He and "A" (not sure if I can use his name here) will be moving to Toronto in October. They were married here in Toronto during a visit awhile back and have been seperated by the unfair immigration laws in the US since that time. I am happy to say they will be back together again because our beloved Canada exists and is a safe haven for our families.

As Laura & Allan, Mason & Nick helped us, we pay it forward, happily. The move wasn't so scary when we knew people were already here with information and just to talk.

Also my parents are arriving on Saturday! Woo Hoo!

2009-07-11T15:15:00.000-04:00

We were honoured to meet Silas yesterday. He is half of the latest bi-national couple who successfully will be moving here in 2 weeks. Emilio has been in contact with Willy (Silas’ partner) for some time now. Willy is from Peru and Silas is a USian. The guys are moving from Boston. We’re happy to welcome them to our city. They will be living in the Yonge/St Clair area

I’ve been so busy I forgot to mention my wonderful lunch with Melissa (Two Moms) & Adam (Canada Boomdiada). It was wonderful to see her again and enjoy a great time of conversation, shared experience and just being with friends. Something I rarely get to do these days.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about immigrants and our life here. My Dad told me both my great grandparent (maternal side)and great-great grandparents (Paternal) owned ice cream shops after moving to the US and were Italian immigrants, which I find to be such a weird coincidence. Guess it’s in my blood. I wonder if they too bitched about working 7 days week, having to sue bad equipment providers and worried about the success of their business through winters and hard times. Plus the aches and nerve numbness from repetitive scooping. I am sure they did but we don’t usually get those sides of immigrant stories, we usually just hear about the success and not the aches and pains when hearing family folklore. It’s frustrating not having a life and even trying to type this message is taking hours between customers until help arrives. Working daily with your loved one gets difficult as well. By the 12th hour it’s hard not to snap once in awhile.
The store is still a success just not as busy as those initial first weeks. I’ve made some cupcakes to test them as a sale item. Emilio is making more cakes now and besides Zulie we’ve welcomed Luis to our Sweet Creamery family. They are both from SOY and work very hard.

This week something very disturbing was said to me on a conference call for my regular job, something that shook me to the bone. Basically in a moment of candour I was told a man with other sources of income (me) would be let go over a single mother of three (my co-worker) in the next reduction in work force. Even though I work much harder than anyone else on my team with far more responsibility, plus I’ve paid my dues to get seniority. I was so angry I took time off because I just could not understand being kicked in the teeth like that. I am the idiot that works late, holidays and weekends whenever they need me. It killed my motivation and concentration, something the job requires. It feels like discrimination. We are still counting on that job as we still have not paid ourselves a dime yet from the business until the debt is gone. I expressed my thoughts to management and hopefully can put it behind me.

I also miss my Katie terribly. Just takes time. Poor Buster is getting far more affection than he wants from both of us.

Happy Pride!

2009-06-26T12:29:00.004-04:00

This week Emilio decorated the store with so much pride paraphenalia that I almost panicked. There is still a bit of the US anti gay attitudes left roaming around in the worry portion of my brain. When you live for 40 years in a suppressed and oppressed environment just two years in an open one is not enough to recover completely. But after my brief panic the customers still came except now they wish Zulie, Emi and I "Happy Pride". Which warms us every time we hear it.

I am proud of us. What we did to get here and where we are going. Happy Pride Everyone!

P.S. Any of you binational couples worried about moving out of the US, please read this blog from start to finish and know that you will be fine. The successful moves of all our friends blogs linked here are a testament that you can do it and will be ok. We are here for you, just ask.

BBB dropped the case when I filed my lawsuit.

2009-06-25T10:12:00.006-04:00

I get that once it went to legal action that they cannot handle it, but what about warning other consumers?

Complaint ID#: 1049671
Business Name: RESTAURANT LIQUIDATORS LTD.

Thank you for contacting your BBB regarding your complaint.

The complaint was received by your BBB on June 9, 2009 and has been assigned case# 1049671 in our files.

We regret to inform you that your BBB can not process your complaint. The case has been reviewed and was found to contain issues that are out of your BBB's Purview.

It is our policy to process only those complaints fall into your BBB's scope. Items such as landlord/tenant issues, criminal allegations, requests for punitive damages, employer/employee disputes, cases already involved in litigation, civil rights violations,business to business collection issues, etc... are not handled by your BBB.

A summary of this complaint case can be seen by clicking here.

A list of agencies that can help you with these types of complaints can be obtained by visiting our website at www.bbblondon.on.ca.

Thank-you for contacting your BBB.

Sincerely,

BBB Complaint Department
complaints@london.bbb.org

___________________________________________________________________________

My response to the BBB
When I was investigating this company before I purchased from them I did not see any BBB complaints. If I had I would never have given them my hard earned dollars. I mortgaged my home for my new business and these people sold me 5 malfunctioning machines that hurt my business. If the BBB isn't willing to warn consumers and drop our case when they go to lawsuits, then how are you protecting consumers?

Regards,

Tom S
Sweet Creamery Inc.

______________________________________________________________________
More back and Forth

From: XXXXXX
Subject: RE: BBB Complaint Case#1049671(Ref#34-1048319-1049671-15-11510)
To: "'Tom S'"
Date: Thursday, June 25, 2009, 12:35 PM

Dear Tom S,

The BBB is a dispute resolution service and once a complaint has been filed in court the BBB can no longer resolve the complaint as it is being resolved through the court system. As you have filed in court prior to allowing the complaint process to finish the BBB cannot assist you. BBB reports are provided solely to only assist consumers in their purchasing decision.

Sincerely,

Ashley,

- - - - - - - -

You also are not putting a record of my valid complaint on your website to help other consumers. Why is that? Your website says you keep reports of complaints.

I do not see a link on your website to any organization in Canada willing to provide this vital protection for small business owners.

Tom

Barrack Obama the lying backstabber

2009-06-25T08:54:00.002-04:00

I think it's imporant to point out why I am so angry with the President of the US.
During the campaign he said he is a fierce advocate for gay equality. Recent events where he supports the DOJ document comparing our families to incest and the raping of animals is way too far.

Here is a clear example of the complete and utter hypocrisy and lying from the President. This is very important because we are immigrants due to the unfair policies in the US towards us.

Obama is is refusing to enforce the law that unfairly deports the foreign-born spouses of (STRAIGHT)Americans who die in the first years of their marriage. The Obama administration is going to defer enforcement of that law until Congress can change the law.

Now we saw the same Obama legal team stating last week the Defense of Marriage Act must be upheld because it is existing law. Yet when it comes to straight Americans Obama and team will not enforce unfair immigration laws, but when it comes to us, they defend our discrimination. He has the legal ability to stop the deportations of our loved ones, but because we are gay he will not.

I cannot believe a man of colour of a mixed race marriage who was born at a time when his parents union was illegal in many US states can be so callous and uncaring for the civil rights we deserve. It makes him worse than overt homophobes, at least they don't bother to pander to us then stab us in the backs.

Thank You PFAW

2009-06-24T09:42:00.000-04:00

June 23, 2009

President Barack Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500

Dear President Obama:

I am writing to respectfully urge you to bring the energetic moral vision that you championed as a presidential candidate to the cause of equality for gay and lesbian Americans.

Among the reasons that millions of people were inspired by your candidacy was your eloquence on behalf of an America in which everyone is offered respect and equality under the law. At People For the American Way, we disagreed with your decision to stop short of supporting marriage equality, but we welcomed the clarity with which you articulated the constitutional principle of equality in so many other areas. That vision energized not only gays and lesbians, but many other fair-minded Americans who recognize discrimination as a national moral failing, who view equality under the law as a defining part of the American Way, and who believe the country is ready to discard discrimination based on bigotries that should be left in our past. That vision would be even more powerful coming from you as president, but since your election we have heard very little.

Any reasonable person is aware of the extraordinary challenges that faced the nation as you took office, including a dire financial crisis that has cost millions of Americans their jobs, homes, and access to health care. You have not shied from these most daunting of challenges. But it seems that you have shied from promoting the vision of equality that you articulated during your campaign.

Legislative change is needed, and we will continue to push Members of Congress and the Democratic leadership to move forward to end discrimination against LGBT Americans even as they grapple with other urgent national priorities. We are counting on you to call for and help win passage of legislation that you pledged to support.

As importantly, Mr. President, you are uniquely capable of communicating to the American public the moral and constitutional values at stake in ending discrimination against gay Americans. Beyond the clear harm to gay and lesbian Americans, the lack of your leadership on these issues damages both America's sense of fairness and the credibility of your administration.

Your recent action to extend some benefits to the same-sex partners of federal employees, and your statement from the Oval Office committing yourself to work tirelessly toward equality, could have been the kind of moment that was celebrated as a milestone on the march toward equality. But instead it had the feel of, and was reported as, an incremental half-measure rushed onto the stage to placate a discontented political constituency.

While your comments in opposition to the Defense of Marriage Act at the recent signing ceremony were welcome, they would have carried more weight as part of a larger ongoing effort to educate the American public about the moral need for LGBT equality. Moreover, the impact of your words was blunted coming so soon after your administration's brief in support of DOMA using arguments that degraded gay and lesbian couples. You may have felt it was your duty to defend the law, but your argument that discrimination against same-sex couples doesn't count as discrimination and citation of case law on incest to claim that marriages of gay couples are unworthy of legal recognition was beyond the pale. Americans who support equality would not have been at all surprised if that brief had been filed by the Bush Administration. Coming from you, particularly without a broader public affirmation of your commitment to equality, it had the force of a hard slap in the face by someone we trusted.

Moreover, in the absence of a stronger statement about the importance of equality for all Americans, it has been equally difficult for your supporters to understand the continued discharges under Don't Ask Don't Tell of service members devoting their lives to our country. Congress should vote to repeal the destructive law that destroys military careers and robs the armed forces of highly trained soldiers, but until that happens, you should use your authority as commander-in-chief to suspend discharges of these personnel until that law is changed.

We have seen you change a nation's conversation with an extraordinarily compelling speech on the issue of race in America. We have seen you change the perceptions of the world with a historic speech on history, pluralism, respect, and democracy to the world's Muslims. We have seen you bring grace and conviction to the debate with your speech at Notre Dame about preserving a woman's right to choose.

On the question of LGBT equality, it's time to make that speech.

Mr. President, you have the opportunity to be on the right side of history. Every day, LGBT Americans face discrimination and are being denied their constitutional rights. There is no one in public life who could, and based on your stated principles and promises should, do more to move America forward toward becoming a country in which LGBT people are respected and treated as fully equal under our Constitution and laws.

We ask for your leadership and voice. When you lead, we will back you with every bit of heart and determination we can muster.

Sincerely,

Michael B. Keegan
President
People For the American Way

I filed my first lawsuit Restaurant Liquidators

2009-06-23T09:26:00.003-04:00

Last week things with Restaurant Liquidators went from bad to worse. So Monday June 15th I filed my first lawsuit. I can write about this now that I just got a confirmation call they have been served the papers.

The only reason Restaurant Liquidators contacted me was because I made a BBB complaint and used Kijiji and Craigslist to warn other consumers. In their BBB reply they lied and I have the proof and revised the complaint with an update. As "Dave" from Restaurant Liquidators said he will make sure I never see any money from a lawsuit and my response will always be that I am interested in justice, I want justice more than I want the money back.

I am not seeking revenge, I simply want fairness and to be treated with respect, neither of which they seem to understand. I have had Century Refrigeration (a great honest company, use them!)come back 3 times to repair the bad machinery they sent us and still have two machines just sitting around collecting dust.

Now my complaint against Kijiji. They pulled my ad against the company yet allow them to continue to advertise and rip off other consumers. I've contacted news media to highlight this problem. Kijiji is now officially boycotted and I hope you will also join me. They are not interested in protecting consumers, and I have e-mail from them as proof.

Once binational, now trinational

2009-06-22T12:21:00.005-04:00

From time to time Emi and I get a request to do an interview. Last week our immigration Laywer in New Jersey, Joyce Phipps (Highly Recommended) referred Emilio to a reporter looking to interview him regarding his Asylum case and the mess we went through. We've been trying to scramble time to talk to him, but working 7 days a week doesn't give us much time.

Recent events dealing with the US. The DOJ sent a letter asking for some documents regarding Emilio. Emi is still banned from re-entering the US, which is completely ridiculous to anyone who knows Emilio. It's like banning a Care Bear from the country.

Also I received an audit of my 2007 taxes, we know of one other couple (Nick & Mason) this happened to after moving to Canada. Coincidence or just more hell the US government enjoys putting us through, you decide.

So the Venezuelan and the American who fell in love in New Jersey, who had to move to Canada to remain together are still getting shit from the US government. I think that makes it trinational. I cannot wait to be a Canadian citizen and am probably going to do the process of removing my US citizenship. Especially after Obama and team stabbed us in the back, as was expected.

I am embarrassed by my US passport anyway.

Totally Tired

2009-06-17T15:46:00.002-04:00

but if there is a good reason to be tired, it should be due to working hard on your own business. We're still stumbling here and there but we are managing it so far.

Restaurant Liquidators turned out to be worse jerks than I even imagined. Last week some fool name Dave called and actually got me thinking of negotatiating with them, then stupid little Adam Soufan called me on Monday and cursed me out for filing a BBB complaint. The interesting thing about these charlatains is they ignored me until I filed the BBB complaint and placed truthful ads on Kijiji and Craigslist warning other consumers to not buy from them. They said they will sue me and in their distorted thieving minds they think telling the truth that 5 machines from them failed is "Slander". I educated them on the definition of slander and telling the truth is not an example of it.

Other than dealing with those losers, we're keeping our energy focused on the success of the business. We hired a wonderful young woman named Zulema who is part of the SOY, Support our Youth program which our friend and neighbour runs.
Today is rainy so it should be slow. Sleep is now a luxury due to my two full time jobs.

Consumer Protections Warning info@easyelectric.ca

2009-06-10T00:40:00.002-04:00

Easy Electric and it's owner Medi took over $300 from us to quote a hydro upgrade and he never provided the quote. So never ever use Easy Electric in Toronto for your electrical needs.

These scumbags prey on business owners and deserve to have their license revoked.

Consumer Protections-Warning Restaurant Liquidators London Ontario

2009-06-07T10:21:00.002-04:00

Emilio and I believe when someone does outstanding work for us to write an e-mail praising that person’s effort. We recently did this for our banker Cindy who went way beyond her duty to help us with our business account. We even decided to switch our mortgage provider to her bank and told her management she is the reason we do this.

In an early post I wrote about our equipment provider and referred to him as an angel, well he’s anything but…

We purchased used equipment because new equipment was way beyond our means. We would never be able to open the shop with all new. We found Restaurant Liquidators in London Ontario through an advertisement. They are far but we specifically chose them for their 90 day guarantee. We purchased ice cream dipping cabinet, two freezers, a display case, soft ice cream machine, two coolers and whip cream maker. The items were delivered to our shop on a Monday. In the mean time our hydro upgrade was still happening so we could not test all the machines until the weekend. Immediately three failed that we were able to plug into single phase outlets. We called Restaurant Liquidators and were assured they will fix them. As soon as we had the hydro completed we asked for Adam Soufan of Restaurant Liquidators to come to the shop to fix the machines, he arrived on the Saturday after the 3 phase upgrade was complete with a guy named Frank. He was able to fix the freezer in the back and the ice cream dipping cabinet but not the display case. He thought he fixed it and would not answer my calls for 3 days telling him it was not working. On the night before our opening he told me to get a repair person to come in and he would pay. He talked to the technician and the man told him what was wrong. We did and it cost over $1000. We covered the repair. Again for days he avoided my calls and e-mails. The day after we opened Kim (My Canada Included Justice) was helping Emilio and I at the shop and the soft ice cream machine backed up and shot chocolate ice cream in his face. It was hysterically funny. A little while later the machine shot chocolate ice cream all over Emilio’s back and the store. Luckily no customer’s were hit. It wasn’t funny anymore. So again I sent e-mails and called him often trying to get a response. We shut down the machine and never used it again. Then the second freezer started shutting down on it’s own in an extended defrost mode. This problem corrected itself days later, but we’re still not confident with it. Finally Adam Soufan called back again and tells Emilio he would only pay $500 for the over $1000 bill, I left him an angry message telling him he will pay the whole bill and that I want a refund for the soft serve. A week of no calls and or e-mails from him but lots from me. At this point we are open 8 days and the whip cream machine stops working. So I write e-mails and make calls again telling him 5 machines mechanically failed at one point or another. I want the soft ice cream and the whip cream machine taken away with a refund for them and the repair bill. Again days go by and he leaves an early morning message at the store knowing we would not be there. At this point we are calling from different phones so we can trick them into speaking to us. The most ridiculous call was a guy who answered that said “Adam is right here”, they have a conversation and comes back and tells me Adam isn’t there, I laughingly told him I heard them talking and to tell Adam I am suing him. I got a call back saying he wants to come up and fix the machines. I told him at this point I am not interested in any more machines fixed or replaced from Restaurant Liquidators.

I’ve given this man so many occasions to do the right thing and he refuses. I told him I planned a lawsuit and he kept buying time telling me he needs to speak to his partner, then to his receptionist. So tomorrow I advised my attorney to file the lawsuit for the equipment and loss in sales, So the lesson here is don’t fuck with Tom and don’t buy from Restaurant Liquidators in London Ontario. We’re just lucky the gelato and ice cream sales have been good despite these setbacks.

My Katie

2009-06-05T22:48:00.002-04:00

Trying to keep up with the store has me having odd moments of crying spells, then work mode kicks in. On my walk home from the shop I passed the park me and my girl spent so many enjoyable hours in. I couldn't help but weap. I always say my favorite time of day is at the dog park with my Katie and our dog and human friends. My favoritie sound is Buster purring in my ear in the morning and my favorite sight is Katie walking in front of me and her tail wagging a mile a minute looking back to make sure I am there. Katie was one of those dogs that smiled. She really knew how to show joy. She didn't care much to play with other dogs but she loved the humans and at the dog park she was a star among the non canines. I think she scored the most treats by far because rather than play she would just hang with us humans with her paws crossed laying in the grass.

I stayed in the kitchen again tonight because I am a private mourner, other than this blog I am really not talking about it. I can't talk about it because I start to weap uncontrollably and I am one ugly crier. Face all contorted and red.

I need to share a Katie moment. Back when we were still religious we took Katie to a blessing of the animals. Just as we approached the church Emi slipped a fake pearl necklace on Katie. He knew I would object to it as an attention grabbing thing. (Note to everyone Tom hates being the center of attention more than anything, I don't even like blowing out birthday candles). Katie somehow knowing it would draw attention, ate it up. She was showing off and having a grand ole time as everyone commented on her pearls. This story was reminded to me today from a co-worker who heard it from my boss.

Katie was addicted to me in a way. When I work from home she would lay down within eye sight of me. If I moved she moved. Sometime when I went to the washroom she would scratch the door. It's nice to be loved that much. The odd thing is she hated to be held, she was her own woman. Don't try to control her. The only way she kissed is if she could french you, she went right for the mouth and my last moment with her she did exactly that, she kissed me.

When we moved to Toronto I was scared, nervous, afraid even. So was Katie if anyone recalls our issues with her at the time. But my daily walk with Katie got me out of my shell, got me talking to people. I met tons of neighbours. She and I adjusted together. We learned to love Toronto together. Us suburbantites actually enjoyed and felt at home here. Katie thrived this last year and half. So did I. Even better Sweet Creamery is partially because of Katie and it's success is certainly attributed to her. You see in taking her to the dog park I learned an ice cream shop was wanted badly. I also met so many people that those people have spread the word and we are making triple the sales we expected.

I ache for the loss of my beautiful friend. I am also thankful for the time I had with her and that she suffered very little. I love you Katie, my sweet beautiful girl.

My Heart Aches

2009-06-05T03:13:00.002-04:00

Last night Emilio brought Katie to Sweet Creamery so I could walk her home with me. He had to come home for a scale. I noticed my girl was a little slow. I woke up at 3am and noticed her breathing was odd but she was sleeping. Emi was on the computer and I talked to him about it. In the morning she threw up water she was drinking. I immediately made a vet appoinment. At 1045 I drove to the vet in our neighbourhood because she was so weak. Mid afternoon I tearfully learned she had a tumor on her pancreas. After xrays and and ultrasound it was suspected to be cancerous. I drove her by the store to see Emi before we went to emergency care for surgery. I waited two hours and then I was able to be reunited with my girl before she went into surgery. We walked and talked, she peed and she wanted badly to escape and just come home. We laid on the floor together where I foolishly promised she would he ok.

I didn't want to go home so I went to Sweet Creamery. I decided my best place was making gelato in the kitchen away from smiling people. I got a call from the doc a couple hours later, after opening her up her cancer was far worse than anticipated. I had to make the most diffcult decision of my recent life. I did and crumpled in a heap of human jello for longer than I care to admit. At 3:30 I am trying to deal with the loss of my little girl.

I didn't tell Emilio right away as he had to deal with customers. We later cried it out, but I doubt for the last time. If you ever want unconditional love, get a dog. Katie loved me so much and showed me how important I was to her. I returned the favour.

Kick Ass Weekend

2009-06-01T00:26:00.002-04:00

Thanks to Nick, Mason, Adam & Eric we surpassed sales beyond our imagination. These beautiful men came to our rescue. We were so overwhelmed with demand that Emi and I could never keep up. Our friends, the best friends a guy can ever ask for selflessly showed up and threw on aprons and worked their asses off to make Sweet Creamery a success. My heart is full with love for them.

I am still amazed we pulled this off, people are coming back every day for more, some more than once a day. We cannot keep up with the demand. People are raving about it. I am so proud of Emi.

The Business

2009-05-30T08:59:00.002-04:00

We are doing far better than our expectations. Emilio and I are working very hard trying to keep up with the demand. The people are so excited we opened in our neighbourhood. I didn't realize how happy Gelato and Ice Cream makes people.

Special thanks to Adam of "Canada Boomdiada" and Mason of "Life Without Borders" for all their help. As Melissa of "Two Moms" said, "Expats Rock"

We had a lovely surprise. The guys (Bob and DRF) from "Moved to Vancouver" stopped by to see us on a layover waiting for the train to take them back home to the West Coast. It's was great to meet other members of our blog family in person. There is a kinship and automatic feeling of friendship knowing what we all went through together roughly at the same time.

Gotta run, so much work to do today.

Sweet Creamery Update

2009-05-22T14:26:00.002-04:00

This week I took off work foolishly thinking we would open. We're not. After a couple panic attacks, a home equity loan and too many phone calls to count we finally have the electric power upgrade we needed. I don't even know where this week went.

Yesterday I was finally fed up. The electrician kept telling me not to call and bother Hydro. Beyond my better judgement I didn't for a week. Finally yesterday morning I had enough! I did a phone blitz to anyone and everyone I could find at Hydro and lo and behold we managed to be their first urgent call this morning. When I walked down Parliament street at 8:30 am and saw those beautiful green trucks I immediately called Emi at home to celebrate another win. I asked one of the Hydro guys how we got the first call, he said some pain in the ass kept calling and driving everyone crazy, I smiled and said, "that was me, would you like a coffee?" He's coming for some free gelato next week.

So now we actually have power and are testing our machines. Tomorrow morning the man we bought most of our equipment from is coming to tweak them. Our beloved and talented Mason (Life Without Borders) will be finishing up some really great projects he's developed for the store and we will be good to go early in the week.

This process seemed harder than immigrating. Today as I left the store to take Katie to Petsmart I looked back and could not stop looking at a beautiful sight. Emilio was working in his store. He looked so proud and happy and my heart melted. He's worth every second of the trouble it took to get us to this point.

Hurdles

2009-05-04T14:40:00.003-04:00

Hurdles are everywhere. Within hours of my success in obtaining the business license we found out the hydro upgrade the landlord paid for was not enough for three machines we purchased that require 3 phase power. Of course this was some bad news and I went into problem solving mode. I was researching various ways to fix this issue. Converters, Inverters and other electrical gadgets I never heard about that will not work so well for us. In the end we are in a limbo of sorts. The landlord told us on Saturday he is looking into another upgrade (one I doubt he will pay for). My other option included begging the guy we are buying most of our equipment from to get us single phase equipment. I have to say, the man is an angel. He told me he will let me know, but is hopeful we can do some sort of trade. The problem still exists limiting our ability to upgrade equipment in the future, but I just want to get the store open ASAP.

Emilio and I spent the weekend doing cosmetic work; we need to get the place up to health code standards which included a hefty plumber’s bill. The good news is while I was painting the exterior front of the shop many people approached me that were excited about our new business and cannot wait to become our customers. I am confident we will be a success. I believe in Emilio, I know he will be great and I love the idea that we have another thing connecting us…making our family stronger. Onward we go into working 7 days a week with my favorite person in the world. I am keeping my day job and will work at the shop nights and weekends until we are profitable enough to hire help. I know it will be stressful and somewhat risky, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.

It Worked!

2009-04-29T11:37:00.002-04:00

I just got a call from the business licencing bureau. They are issuing our licence today.
Yesterday I decided to do a phone blitz. I called the Mayor's Office, my local Business Improvement Association, two different zoning offices, our real estate agent...and it paid off. Taking "no" for an answer was unacceptable to me and I couldn't get an answer other than, "it's the process." I have to say that dealing with the city has been a pleasure despite the hurdles, everyone was pleasant.

So we hope to be open late next week if we can get all the equipment and orders together. More updates to follow.

I am still in shock that I pulled this off. Again, this is a lesson in not giving up. Keep pushing forward!

(Emilio right now is practicing recipes)

Taking Chances

2009-04-25T07:53:00.004-04:00

As many who actually might still be reading our journey on this blog know employment for new immigrants is a difficult thing to obtain. While I am lucky I still have my job with a terrific boss, Emilio has not been as fortunate. Some of my friends here have lost their jobs, and co-workers too. The recession is taking it's toll. Sending out hundreds of applications with no call backs and applying for even menial jobs with no results really affected sweet adorable Emilio.

One cold day in March I was walking home from work stressing over what to do and when I got to my favorite spot (Allan Gardens), it hit me. Instead of looking for job, let's create a job for Emilio. I quickened my pace and came in the door and excitedly threw off my backpack and coat and grabbed my man and kissed him as I usually do, this time with more gusto and explained my revelation to him. What's interesting is he came up with the same revelation too, but said he needed me to come up with it on my own and waited for me to. What's more interesting is we both had the same store concept in mind.

We immediately started planning. In one month we have basically put it all together and are just waiting for bureaucracy to let us open our gelato/ice cream and pastry shop.

The other lesson in this is keep pushing forward and take risks. I have found that opening a small business in Toronto is just as hard as immigrating to Canada. The layers of bullshit is amazing. So take charge Tom has written and called our Business Improvement Association, City Councilor and the Mayor to complain about this process. Hopefully not only to help us open up our dream, but help others not have to wait 6 to 8 weeks for no reason other than paper and pencil pushing.

Below highlights the ridiculous process in my e-mail to the Mayor.

Mayor Miller,

My partner and I are opening a new Gelato/Ice Cream & Pastry business on Parliament Street. Our efforts to open are being held up because of the bureaucracy of the city. In order to obtain a business licence you must sign a lease, we did in early April and on April 7th we applied for a business licence. We submitted all the necessary documents such as incorporation and police background checks. We were told it takes 6 to 8 weeks to obtain zoning permission in order to get the business licence. Our real estate agent and my partner have gone to the zoning office in City Hall to try and fast track our request. The people there are most helpful, we hope they can approve it soon. So far we are still in limbo with equipment and supply orders waiting. Parliament Street is hardly an area needing commercial zoning checked. Perhaps applications need to be fast tracked that are no brainers like ours.

There is something very wrong in the process of obtaining the licence with these harsh long delays. The city requires a signed lease to which we are paying, yet we cannot do any work preparing our business, setting it up, obtaining insurance, having equipment and supplies delivered, or even the hydro upgrade until the zoning approval is received. After zoning and the business licence we will still have to obtain the health department approval. The 6 to 8 weeks is costing us thousands of dollars and loss of income on our new venture and putting us way behind schedule. Something needs to be done to make the process faster and easier for people who want to start a small business in Toronto.

Thank you,
Tom Smeraldo & Emilio Ojeda

My lesson in all this is do whatever it takes to keep your relationship strong. Fighting to stay with Emilio in the US changed me forever for the better. I used to be very passive. That man longer exists.

Wish us luck and come by when we eventually get to open.

Tory Immigration Policy

2009-04-24T09:02:00.003-04:00

I have been very busy lately, but this post has been lingering in my mind for awhile now. I have seen people praising Tories for tackling the backlog in the immigration que. At face value that seems like a terrific idea. Let's get the system efficient and quicker. It takes a little work, but dig below the service and the ugly conservative monster will always rear it's head.

What the Tories are actually doing to lower the backlog is focus only on the 38 professions list they pulled out of their butts. In doing so they are swiftly denying thousands of applications without a comprehensive review. They are unfairly slashing and burning through applications rather than giving them serious consideration. The point being never trust Tory policies at face value.

Now let's say those 38 professions are truly the most urgently needed, then I wonder why Tories cannot walk and chew gum at the same time. Fast track the 38 most needed and add more immigration agents to do a fair review of all the other applications. Afterall Canada still needs immigrants, not just the Tory approved kind.

Vermont and Iowa Marriage for All

2009-04-03T11:24:00.004-04:00

It's nice to see progress being made in my former nation. A day late and a dollar short in my opinion.

The scumbag of the day goes go Albert "Sonny" Audette.

"Opponents of the measure spoke of their respect for its advocates. One, Rep. Albert "Sonny" Audette, D-South Burlington, expressed sadness at having concluded he was required by his church to vote no.
"I am a devout Catholic," Audette said. "My religion at this point would not want me to vote for this. I wish that I could and I hope for the best and I congratulate the people who are trying to get this through."

Mr. Dirtbag, your religion is a choice and you represent all Vermonters in your district not just the beliefs of your Nazi pope. If you really meant you hoped for the best for gay families, then you would not use your ridiculous religion as a weapon against us.

Boycott Jamaica

2009-04-03T09:58:00.002-04:00

Boycott Jamaica

This is something I support. The anti gay hysteria in Jamaica is ridiculous and the fact that billions of tourist dollars each year are spent there amazes me. As far as I am concerned it's equal to having a fun filled picnic at Auschwitz.

From Wayne Besen:

"This week, I joined San Francisco organizer Michael Petrelis and Box Turtle Bulletin editor Jim Burroway in launching an international boycott against Jamaica (www.boycottJamaica.org). While the island appears laid back, gays are under attack.Forget business as usual. Instead, we should stop doing business with a country that is proud of its persecution against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.Our goal is to turn Jamaica into a pariah state, as long as GLBT people live in a state of terror. This means no more subsidizing the anti-gay slaughter by drinking Myers Rum and Red Stripe Beer. It requires skipping that Carnival Cruise to Jamaica -- so your money won't support murder.If Jamaica were anymore homophobic, it would change the name of its signature music, reggae, to "ray-straight." The national song would be, "Wasting the Gays Again in Murderitaville."Why boycott? Because Jamaica is on a downward spiral and suffers from collective cultural dementia on this issue. There is clearly a pathological panic and homo-hysteria that has infected this nation at its core. Consider that the Jamaica Cancer Society has raised concerns that the fear of being labeled gay is causing some Jamaican men to avoid prostate examinations, causing one of the highest prostate cancer rates in the world.The second reason to boycott is because traditional activism has failed. I first read about Jamaica's horrific violence against gay people in a 2004 New York Times editorial, "Hated to Death in Jamaica." In 2006, Time Magazine had an article about the island headlined, "The Most Homophobic Place On Earth."One would think that such chilling headlines would have spurred worldwide action against Jamaica. Instead, the climate has only deteriorated, with a 2008 New York Times article titled, "Attacks Show Easygoing Jamaica Is Dire Place for Gays."A scathing State Department report on Jamaica's treatment of homosexuals reads like a horror novel:
"The Jamaica Forum for Lesbians, All Sexuals, and Gays (J-FLAG) continued to report human rights abuses, including arbitrary detention, mob attacks, stabbings, harassment of homosexual patients by hospital and prison staff, and targeted shootings of homosexuals."Questioned by the BBC, Jamaica's Prime Minister Bruce Golding said that he would not allow gay people to serve in his Cabinet. In March 2009 he added, "We are not going to yield to the pressure, whether that pressure comes from individual organizations, individuals, whether that pressure comes from foreign governments or groups of countries, to liberalize the laws as it relates to buggery."A third reason for a boycott is because we can have an impact in Jamaica. The tropical island earned $2.1 billion from tourism in 2006, with 1,025,000 arrivals from the United States. Clearly, Jamaica is uniquely vulnerable to economic pressure and thus every effort should be made to push for change.A fourth reason to boycott is that a message needs to be sent throughout the world: "Gay people will no longer sit by passively while our people are brutalized and killed."If we do not stop the hate in the one place we can - Jamaica - it will continue to be open season against gays across the world. There must be consequences for state sanctioned gay bashing. Such countries will not change on their own -- so economic carrots and sticks must be applied.The current, failed strategy is "treadmill diplomacy", where we send off a few letters to embassies and hope things will magically improve. It may feel like we are advancing, but we are really, at best, running in place. This explains why the news headlines about Jamaica's treatment of gay people in 2004, look remarkably like the terrifying ones in 2009. The choice is ours, we can be meek in the face of madness - or we can take action.Finally, Jamaica is an island of self-righteous hypocrites. The Bible is used to rationalize brutality, and vigilante violence is justified with talk of virtues and values. But, the island is quite comfortable with ganja and gratuitous sex for heterosexuals. Jamaica's new motto should be, "Don't Worry, Be Happy" (Unless you're gay).If you are a bar owner, please take Jamaican products out of your establishment. Consider a "rum dump", where Myers' rum is poured down the sewer. If you care about gay people, tell everyone you know about the dismal human rights record of Jamaica. And, if a friend has booked a trip -- express your disapproval and send him or her accurate information.It is truly a crime if you spend another dime in this homophobic hellhole. If you have gay family members, neighbors, coworkers or friends, book a holiday where it is okay to be gay.As for Jamaica, don't play, don't pay, don't stay."

The Crazy World We Live In

2009-03-12T09:08:00.003-04:00

The man who destroyed a country by lying, killed thousands upon thousands of innocent civilians, displaced 2 million Iraqi people and sanctioned rendition and torture is free living a life of luxury. People are even paying to hear the idiot speak right here in Canada.

The man who threw a shoe at him is sentenced to 3 years in prison.

My e-mail to Minister of Citizenship and Immigration Jason Kenney

2009-03-11T16:01:00.002-04:00

Mr. Kenney,

I saw a curious quote where you spoke about democracy in regards to a protest. I find it interesting you would use this statement considering as the top immigration official in Canada you have chosen to blatantly ignore the will of the majority in Parliament by not allowing Iraq War Resisters to remain in Canada. I request you immediately rescind the deportation order of Kimberly Rivera and her family.

Don't tell me you value Democracy only when it agrees with you personally. That is against the very nature of Democracy and shows a lack of respect for this nation and the people who employ you. Please don't forget we can also fire you, I suggest not giving us any more reasons to do so.

Regards,
Tom Smeraldo

Feels like spring today

2009-03-06T15:22:00.003-05:00

It's the first day this year that it actually feels like spring. How I have yearned to not wear the layers of a jacket, under a coat, beneath two hoods, gloves and a scarf, all while fumbling to sneak earphones under it all. Today I just just wore the coat. My morning ritual was so much easier without all the layering and wobbling out the condo door.

I really am looking forward to spring. The winter feels so long this year. I can't wait to see the first crocus and daffodil pushing through the earth.

The world seems so chaotic. It looks likes the California Supreme Court will not overturn Prop 8. The US, Vatican and Middle East all refused to join the decriminalization of homosexuality at the UN. Our prime minister admitted this week the War on Afghanistan has no goal, troops cannot even secure the nation. The US is still slaughtering innocent Iraqis too. People in the world are suffering from the horrible governing of both democrats and republicans. Now I see vile Americans screaming about protectionism. I hate to tell them they fucked up the world economy, now is not the time to turn your backs away from the mess you created. Think globally you selfish bastards. Open a world map and anywhere your finger lands on it you will hit a place the US and their greedy corporate whores caused damage.

We're here in Canada, it's a lovely place in a chaotic world. I wish the world more of Canada and less US, Vatican and Middle East.

Good News. Hunter and Mr Hunter are in!

2009-02-27T15:35:00.003-05:00

From the comments

Hunter said...
The comment is not surprising. It is a good thing that the Consulate requested our passports today. . .We are in!!!

Tom said...- I am actually misty eyed reading your great news Hunter. I remember how great it felt to get to that point and the weight being lifted off our shoulders. Congrats to you both!

Ahh Republicans. Another reason to despise them.

2009-02-26T16:38:00.002-05:00

The new RNC Chairman thinks the very suggestion of Civil Unions is crazy.

Steele on civil unions: 'Are you crazy?'

In response to a question from radio host Mike Gallagher today, RNC chairman Michael Steele took a hard, dismissive line against civil unions -- which have increasingly become a fallback, compromise position for blue-state Republicans and others who oppose same-sex marriage.

"Do you favor civil unions?" Gallagher asked:

STEELE: No, no no. What would we do that for? What are you crazy? No. Why would we backslide on a core, founding value of this country. I mean this isn't something that you just kind of like, "Oh well, today I feel, you know, loosey-goosey on marriage." I mean, this is a foundational principle of this country. It is a foundational principle of organized society. It isn't something that, you know, in America we decided, "Let's make it between a man and a woman; oh well now, let's change our mind and make it between anyone and anyone." No.

GALLAGHER: So no room even for a conversation about civil unions, in your mind?

STEELE: What's the difference?

GALLAGHER: Well, you're not calling it marriage.

STEELE: Is it?GALLAGHER: I don't know. I mean, I... I...

STEELE: I mean, like Sarah Palin said, you put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig.

_________________________________________________________

My favorite comment: "The idea of a black man using the idea of our country's "founding values" to RESTRICT the rights of a particular group is absolutely hilarious."

I'm Trying

2009-02-24T09:46:00.004-05:00

"I'm trying" is something I keep saying to myself. I have never been one of those believers in the power of positive thinking. I believe we have an entire array of emotions for a reason. Striving to be happy all the time is a lesson in futility and a waste of energy. Now that doesn't mean to mire yourself in despair. Sometimes you gotta just be in a funk and go with it. So I've been in a funk lately, "I'm trying".

Work has been insane, we lost a key member of our team and sometimes being the strongest link isn't the easiest place to be. Despite my short temper, red face and eye twitching from elevated blood pressure, "I'm trying".

My impatience with Emilio's employment situation is no longer hidden, it can no longer remain unearthed to fester in my mind only. It's come out and I cannot let it back in. "I'm trying"

I was lied to by the President of Norstar, our condo developer. My mild obsession with making their lives as uncomfortable as they made mine may not be the right thing to do, but doing nothing is not an option, "I'm trying"

Working out has become more about stress control than looking and feeling better. I resent this. "I'm trying"

Katie has her millionth ear infection and every time I hear that painful squishing sound my heart breaks, but I am powerless to stop them from happening. "I'm trying"

I hate looking at the budget on the fridge, but it's a necessary and I avoided it way too long. I am 41 and worked hard my whole life, I should be able to do anything I want and buy anything I want. I am not materialistic or a spend thrift, yet still resent this, why is that? "I'm trying"

I am trying to be patient and understanding. I sometimes fail but more often succeed. This funk too shall pass.

UAFA being reintroduced on Valentines Day

2009-02-08T11:40:00.002-05:00

From Immigration Equlity

Great News! Rep. Jerrold Nadler plans to reintroduce the Uniting American Families Act on Feb. 13!You can make the bill a success by convincing your Representative to support the bill from Day One. Reintroducing the bill with as many cosponsors as possible will show powerful momentum for the rights of gay and lesbian binational couples!Please call your Representative and ask them to be an original cosponsor of the “Uniting American Families Act of 2009”

It’s easy!
Find out who your U.S. House Representative is. Go to http://www.congressmerge.com/onlinedb/index.htm, enter your address, and you will be provided the name of your U.S. Representative.
Call the U.S. Capitol Switchboard at (202)224-3121 and ask to be connected to your U.S. Representative.
Tell your representative’s staff:
I am calling to ask Representative ________________ to be an original cosponsor of the Uniting American Families Act of 2009. To cosponsor, he/she must contact Rep. Jerrold Nadler who is the lead sponsor.The U.S. government discriminates against gay and lesbian binational couples by not allowing us to sponsor our foreign-born life partners for immigration. Because of this, we face the terrible choice of separating from the person we love or leaving our country. As Americans, we should not have to choose between family and country. Please ask Rep. _________________ to cosponsor the Uniting American Families Act of 2009 by reaching out to Rep. Nadler before February 12.Thanks for asking your member of Congress to celebrate love this Valentine’s Day by cosponsoring UAFA!

_____________________________________

Of course I want this to pass this time and if it doesn't it is a good indicator that the Obama administration is neither capable or willing to do anything for Gay families. This act is a no brainer and far easier to pass than marriage equlity. It's a no brainer except for the asshole Republicans that enjoy our suffering.

I also am personally glad it did not pass prior to moving here because I am living a life in Canada I never could imagine or achieve in the US. That does not mean I wish it didn't pass for others, just that I am so glad I am here despite the reasons why we were forced to come here.

I fought back

2009-02-07T16:44:00.002-05:00

The last year we have been in a war and the last few months I've been in a battle. The fight was against our building developer and included The City of Toronto and our local MP's office. Since November I've been writing e-mails and following up each week trying to end the nightmare that is the registration of our building. It's important because we have to pay a very high rent for our condos until the building is registered, and then we can have our much lower mortgages. So I was a pain in the ass to all three and kept at it.

I prevailed this week. It came down to threats and yesterday the President of the development company that built our building called me personally to say we should be registered the end of next week. Why did he call me? Because I did some research and found a lovely thing called Ministry of Consumer Services, a government entity that could place a huge fine on our builder if they delayed us any longer without a reasonable cause.

So I am hopeful this nightmare will be over soon and our monthly bills will go down significantly.

Budgets

2009-02-02T13:49:00.004-05:00

Since Emilio's latest layoff I've been thinking about our finances to the point of almost obsession.
We've never been dealt a fair deal in this area for the entire 7 years together. First it was Emilio's inability to obtain a work permit in the US, then various other problems. So it's mainly been on me except for a 2 year period of both of us being employed full time. I am tired of the situation and wonder when the break will come. The recent layoffs at my company have me feeling vulnerable along with really bad economic predictions.

So I was at the gym yesterday and my obsession kicked in and my eye started twitching, which I know is a sign of severe stress for me. I decided when I got home to run the numbers for the last 5 months. I was happy about a couple months and terrified at others. So I came up with a budget that is now proudly on the fridge that we will stick to come hell or high water. The belt is tightening, so you won't see Tomilio out and about for awhile. It's stay home or the poor house. If the damn condo building would get registered we will be saving about $400 to $500 per month. I am working on that with politicians, the city and some threats from good ole me.
Once again do not ever buy from Norstar Willowfield Winchester INC, to say they use minimum code is being kind and we have yet to find anyone truthful in the entire company.

Emilio is still hopeful in finding a job....me...still not so much.

On a good note: Today is Emilio's 7th year anniversary being smoke free.

Update: 3:30 PM. I just read Teri's Blog in the links and my pity party is over. Read about the car wash and have a tissue ready.

Posting for the sake of posting

2009-01-24T18:59:00.003-05:00

I haven't written on here because I couldn't think of anything interesting to say. After coming home from Venezuela and getting into normal routines and the insanely cold weather lately, I think I got a bit of the winters blues. It's normal for me to feel this way this time of year, I skipped it last year because of the new and exciting Toronto adventure we were on.

I've read a couple good books lately. "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins was more about reinforcing my already held beliefs. I actually highlighted some quotes that I found inspiring and when time allows will post them there. Today I just finished "I Know This Much Is True" by Wally Lamb. Nick lent it to me and I really loved this book, just a much as I loved "Middlesex" when I read it in December.

Sadly this week Emilio's employer decided they no longer need him, so we are back at square one in that department. Finances are probably the biggest issue between partners and this one has taken it's toll on us as well. Just more of a long a frustrating road we have been on for way too long. Emilio remains hopeful, me..not so much.

Yesterday my friend Joe at work (in New Jersey) was told he is being riffed. Joe has worked for our company and it's many different names and aquisitions for 45 years. He is one of the nicest, even keeled, dependable persons I have ever worked with. I am sad and angry about this decision, especially since we just hired someone from the layoff list 3 weeks ago and now Joe is losing his job (I smell ageism). I imed him immediately about my anger using too many !!!!!. His calm note back was to the effect, "it's just my time". Within an hour he was on a conference call learning a new system with me that he will use only for 4 weeks, that's Joe for you. He wanted to be on the call to help out.

Our condo is still not registered. I am still fighting the evil builder. There are still so many issues with the building as we approach one year into it. We still don't have a mortgage because of their complete incompetence in getting the money pit registered. If anyone ever buys anything from Norstar aka Willowfield Winchester, I will personally throttle you by flinging myself through the internets and popping out your monitors.

Life goes on and and living in Canada beats the US any day.

More Venezuela

2009-01-09T07:24:00.004-05:00

Monday I finally relented and went to the medical clinic found out I needed an antibiotic for my stomach issue. I was feeling much better quickly so we have been touring around ever since. Tuesday just around Caracas.

Yesteday we drove 2 hours to Valencia to see our friend Ana. She came to visit us in New Jersey a couple years ago with Emilio´s Mom. To know Ana is to love her. I got to meet her beautiful daughters and her grandson. Ana was her usual bright self with one of the best laughs I´ve ever heard. The ride to and from Valencia is a scary experience. There are large pot holes, brush fires and insane drivers. I was nerve wracked by the time we arrived back in Caracas last night and dropped off Em´s Mom and Sister.

On Wednesday we did my favourite thing this trip, we took the cable car up Mt Avila. (again with Emi´s Mom and Sis) The view is beautiful, the temperature was about 15 degrees cooler and you get to stand literally in a cloud. We finished with the tour seeing the Hotel Humboldt built in 1958. Carmen (Emilio´s Mom) was sharing her stories of attending parties when the hotel was open in it´s heyday.

Today we leave to spend a day and night in the mountains and tomorrow at the beach, we come back for another party at Andres´ home, then prepare for our journey back home late Monday night into Tuesday morning.

Caracas observations

2009-01-04T16:49:00.004-05:00

Stop signs and red lights are but a mere suggestion here in the city. Garbage is lazily thrown from car windows which reminds me of that old commercial with the crying Indian. Seat bells are not used and most disturbing of all no child car seats . I cringe seeing a mother without a seat belt holding a baby in the suicide seat. The government here scream socialism but from what I see it more about power than actually doing a damn thing for the people. Yesterday we went through a very rich neighbourhood and I asked, "who lives here?" I was told Chavistas. Enough said.

Speaking of Chavez, I have been suffering from the Venezuelan version of Montezumas revenge. I call it Chavista revenge. Under which I almost went to the hospital, in researching where to go it seems those with insurance get the best hospitals. I found that sad.

Gas prices here are insanely low, less than USD $2 to fill up an SUV. Yet they also have really cool smaller cars from the major manufacturers that I do not see in the US and Canada. I wonder what the heck?

Yesterday we spent the entire day with an old friend of Emilio. Andres took us all over the place, including a small touristy town called Hatillo. In the evening we went to his beautiful condo and later had a party with some friends. A 14 hour day out and about sounds like fun, except when you have Chavistas Revenge. At about 1:30 am my inner bitch finally came out and I needed to insist to drunk Venezuelans to get me the heck home so I could lay down. I had enough of my toasted rice water, gatorade and coconut water. These moments are the tests of a relationship. I have been sick pretty much since the second day and by yesterday needed to pretend to be better, so I kept telling Emi I was OK. So when I semi wigged out he was gobsmacked, but as usual I cannot stay angry with my sweet Emilio for long, I hate seeing him upset, especially when I am the cause. I love him too much for that.

When we got home Hector and Luis surprised us with their new kitten, Cocosetta Canada. The name is derived from the fact that for days I could not get the name of their dog Nucitta correct and just started to call her Cocosetta.

So back onto Andres penthouse condo. It is two floors and magnificent is saying the least. When I asked how much USD is would cost, he told me 230K. I almost cried thinking our shoe box in Toronto cost more then that. But then we have the benefit of being in our beloved Canada, so I did not feel bad for long.

Tomorrow our dear hosts are leaving us for a trip to Chile and Buenos Aires, we are taking care of Nucitta, Violetta, Federico and Cocosetta while they are away. I am going to miss them dearly and already dread the home without these two great men who have been together for 22 years, they are a real inspiration of love for me and Emilio.

My Mother in Law calls daily to see how I am feeling and unfortunately my stomach is the lead of most conversations no matter who we are with. Venezuelans are people who really care and want to help. It is endearing and reminds me of my friends in Canada.

Happy New Year from Caracas

2008-12-31T14:18:00.002-05:00

Emilio and I are on our first trip to Venezuela. We surprised his family with a visit. We are staying with our lovely friends Luis & Hector in their beautiful and very large penthouse condominium with a grand view of the city. The weather is heavenly and I have two dogs and a cat to keep me from hopelessly missing Buster and Katie.

Caracas is an interesting place, as Emilio keeps pointing out, remember it is a third world country. I am trying to shed my usual character of smiling and sometimes saying hi to strangers, in fact I failed this miserably last night and found myself stalked from aisle to aisle by a woman I was polite to at the Supermercato. She called me "precioso" and it was all down hill from there.

The city has extreme poverty on up to Beverly Hills wealth. Poverty I have never seen before in my sheltered life. The houses of some look like death traps waiting to collapse while short distances away are multi million dollar mansions. I have also noticed Caracas is the place where Ford Mavericks, LTDs, Chevy Novas & Malibus come to die a long and slow death as taxi cabs that appear to be held together with spit and crazy glue.

The scenery is magnificent because Caracas sits in a valley between mountain peeks. I cannot stop going out onto the enormous outdoor living area to enjoy being outside this time of year.

Emilio dressed up as Santa and we went to my sister in laws work. With Hector filming and me hiding, Marie Eugenia had no idea it was Emilio in the wig and beard. When he revealed himself I saw the raw beautiful emotion unique to latin women I have met since knowing my Honey. It was truly a beautiful moment, we did the same at my Mother in laws work with the same gorgeous reaction. I just love putting my arms around this adorable little woman who gave life to the man I am proud to share mine with.

Last night I met some friends of Emilio that have been just names to me for 7 years. No matter where you are and what language you speak, gay men are the same when they get together. The love and laughter transcends countries and language. Twice I have been up past 5 am just enjoying music and great spanglish conversations.

More updates to follow. Forgive my lack of puntuation in some spots, they use a different key board here and I cannot figure it out.

Feliz Año Nuevo!

Obama Sucks

2008-12-19T17:44:00.002-05:00

Yesterday Barrack Obama proved to be the jerk I hoped he would not be. He offered Rick Warren the "Profit" of Evangelism the invocation at his inauguration. The very same Rick Warren who bans gays from his church, the man who likens us to pedophiles and incest and claims gays are proof of creationism because he believes evolution would have wiped us out.

It's disturbing that a man elected to ring in a new inclusive America is offering us more that made us run from the US. Obama's defense was that people need to agree to disagree, no Barrack you dumbass, I don't need to agree with anything from a man who likens my very existence and love for my partner to child rape. Fuck you Obama for doing this to us before you even got to sit in the oval office.

In other anti gay news the US and Vatican teamed up once again in not supporting the UN's effort to decriminalize being gay across the world. The richest nation and the largest church both openly supporting the slaughter of gay human beings. Makes you want to vomit.

We're Here, We're Queer and it's been a Year!

2008-12-14T10:23:00.003-05:00

Today marks the one year anniversary of our living Canada. I just went back to in the archives to read about what we were doing and what I was feeling one year ago. That's one of my favorite things about this blog, it's my diary. So we made it to this big milestone and I could not predict back then how much this suburban guy would love the city life. How much Canada improved me both physically and mentally over the year.
One year ago our Katie was a basket case of nerves, probably feeding off mine, as Cesar Milan will tell you. Now my sweet little girl is calm and actually enjoying being with other dogs whereas a year ago she was trying to attack them. She and I find the dog park our favorite hour of the day. (even in these cold temps...I've learned the art of layers)

Every year Emilio makes a calendar of our life with events from the previous year. I love looking at the calendar remembering why we have such a wonderful life here.

Last night we went to Geoff and Bob's Holiday Potluck, the same event we attended the weekend we arrived in Toronto. It's the first of the new traditions we started in December 2007. On Christmas Eve we continue the traditions by going to Richard and Doug's place along with Nick & Mason and Jason & Lee. Nick and I decided last night that Tom & Emilio are no longer "The Newcomers", we told Adam & Eric it is solely their title now and hopefully after them we can all welcome others.

Thanks to all of our blog family for helping us get to here.

My trip back to the US

2008-12-08T09:28:00.003-05:00

I was down in the US for a week visiting my family. As I crossed the border I felt awkward re-entering the US, especially because Emilio is still not allowed to go back there until our lawyer works out some more details. The trip started out very badly because on the ride down I was stuck in Bath, NY with a bad tank of gas on a holiday weekend with nothing open. I spent the night in a Super 8 where there was nothing really super about it at all. Luckily I took our pooch Katie with me for company. The following day the tank was drained, refilled and I was on my way.

I arrived at my parents on Monday and felt that nagging ache of familiar surroundings I haven’t seen in a year. I decided quickly I would not be nostalgic. I would not be looking back with misty eyes at the good things I left in the US for a better life in Canada. This revelation was quickly reinforced as my Dad and I took my Mom for an appointment with her breast cancer specialist the following day. We arrived at what I assumed was a large hospital, very new and valet parking to boot. I was impressed with the quality of the building. We entered the Doctor’s office and directly in front of me is Fox News on the waiting room TV with a note “Do not change the channel.” I smirked and said to my Dad, “Propaganda TV with a captive audience”, we both laughed talking about the fake news channel in the hope we made others who were enjoying the channel as uncomfortable as those forced to watch it. As we left the hospital I noticed Fox News on in other waiting areas and I commented to my Mom that a hospital should probably have something like HGTV on instead. My Mom said, “this isn’t a hospital, it’s a private facility owned by the doctors”. My mind raced to the thought of for profit health care strikes again! Americans, greed is what is keeping you from universal health care for life.

Moving onward the week went great, I got to see two of my brothers, their wives and my nieces and nephew. The family time is always fun for me. Many times our discussions went to politics, all the family on this visit are Obama supporters. The Republican faction live in North Carolina and were there the week prior. We hit on the subject of abortion and that is when things went off track. I am the only ardent pro-choice member of my very Catholic anti choice family. It got pretty heated with my Dad getting very upset and yelling. I maintain my stance that abortion is better left to be between a woman and her doctor, not politicians and churches. My Dad thinks it’s something to vote on, to which I replied that tactic works really well with equality for people like me. (Prop 8).

On a good note, my Dad read "The Deserter's Tale" in two days while I was there and already passed it along to my sister in law. We had some great discussions about it.

On Thursday I went into work at my old office in New Jersey. It’s funny how memory plays tricks on you. I spent 7 years in that office and didn’t remember how the gray office cubes are so damned claustrophobic and how small the building felt. I laughed at how I used to walk around the parking lots of the office complex at lunch, now I get to walk around a very exciting downtown Toronto. On the ride home from the office I drove into our old neighbourhood and past our old house and again reminded myself not to look back, not to be nostalgic and it worked for me.

That two-hour commute from NJ to PA quickly blew over and the rest of the time was spent simply enjoying the comfort of being in my parent’s home. I sleep so well in the Poconos, it’s very dark and very quiet. It’s perfect for a light sleeper like me. My Mom was constantly trying to determine what I wanted to eat and telling me they usually don’t have so many sweets in the house (Yeah Right!). My Mom and I shopped for things the US offers that we cannot find in Canada. Things like: Vigo Paella Rice, Fluff, Aleve, Tylenol PM, Corned Beef Hash and reasonably priced pants for work. Feeling defensive of my wonderful Canada and thinking I slightly betrayed her with these purchases I also talked about all the great events and things we did in Toronto over the year and it hit me how much our lives took a 180 degree turn for the better.

The long trip home to Toronto, to which I miraculously did in 6.5 hours, a new record! I concentrated on just getting home, one gas fill up and a quick pee break. I crossed back into Canada and for the first time crossing the border I knew and felt in my heart I was going home. My adrenaline kicked in with excitement as my city rose up the horizon of my windshield. I smiled passing Pearson and just being on The Gardner, passing The Exhibition, Tip Top Lofts, City Place, Royal York Hotel and seeing familiar street names on signs Spadina, Yonge, and Jarvis. I was downright giddy as I passed St Lawrence Market, St James Park, The Grand, Allan Gardens turning right onto our Wellesley St. For the first time in adult life I got to feel what others take for granted after trips away. I am home, my family is safe and I live with equality. I love living here.

Happy American Thanksgiving- A day late

2008-11-28T09:27:00.002-05:00

I am working covering the jobs of all my American co-workers while they celebrate. I am driving down to Jesusland this Sunday or sooner depending on the snow storm that is coming. So last night I got a call from my family as they all were enjoying being together. I thought I would be sad for not being there, but I am here safe and warm with my little family of Emilio and our four legged kids, and that is what I am most thankful for.

I also got the added benefit of avoiding the Fox news talking points of some family members that vote Republican as the US and world economies are in ruins from Republican policies, that voting based on abortion while conservative policies create a third world infant mortality rates in the US, and the killing of millions of innocent civilians who's crime is having brown skin and a different religion. There is so much more and yet does it really need to be said here? I hope someday they will learn voting based on Gods, Gays and Guns is stupid.

Emilio and I are having a hard time of it lately about my going down to visit family and friends. Mostly because in our 7 years together we've only spent one night apart and it was at a sleep apnea clinic in ajoining rooms. Emi can't go to the US yet, our lawyer is still working on it.
When the person you love most in the world has been threatened to be taken away from you simply because you are gay, it really does take it's toll. I guess that is why in almost 7 years we haven't been apart. It may sound extreme and odd to some people, but the idea of being apart even for a short time is not easy for us.

Protest at American Embassy for equal marriage rights.

2008-11-16T13:26:00.005-05:00

Emi and I fought the rain and cold weather to join a small group of fellow protestors at the American Embassy on University Avenue yesterday. We enjoyed being a part of the event especially because we could not protest while still living in the US for fear Emi might get arrested, detained and deported.

As I joked today at brunch my activist spirit is so wound up I am ready to protest an ant being killed on Yonge street. (Kidding)

Mormons sent $19 million to win Prop 8- Fight back and sign a petition revoking their tax exempt status

2008-11-07T11:34:00.002-05:00

http://www.mormonsstoleourrights.com/

Sign this petition to support the legal effort to amend our tax laws such that the Mormon Church would lose its tax-exempt status if they continue lobbying in this way. We intend to share this list with the ACLU, Lambda Legal, and other official legal organizations that will be pressing forward with this effort. Anyone can sign this petition.

I read Americablog every day...for years now ...and Iove what John Aravosis said today.

2008-11-05T11:49:00.003-05:00

http://www.americablog.com/2008/11/magnanimity-is-nice-but-lets-not-forget.html

Wednesday, November 05, 2008 Magnanimity is nice, but let's not forget the hideous race

I'm watching THE VIEW, and Joy Behar was talking about how last night McCain "finally came back to who he was." I.e., he's been kind of an ass for the past several months, and finally started to find his honor again. The token Republican countered with the following:

"I think it's hard because campaigns... really bring out the ugly in everyone on both sides. It's when you see them in their pure moments, Barack's speech last night, and John McCain's speech lsat night, that you see these moments of hope that they really have given us."

Horse shit.

After eight years of having Republicans call me an un-American troop-hating fag-loving socialist, after months of John McCain embracing the hate to a level where his own supporters were calling out for Barack Obama to be assassinated, no one is going to be permitted to tell me with a straight face that "oh you know, both sides do it."

Your side was abominable. Your side was hateful. Your side race-baited. Your side gay-baited. Your side lied like we've never seen in recent presidential campaign history. Your side used a tax-cheat who would do better under Obama's tax proposal to be your everyman on the issue of taxes. Your side, in a veiled effort at race-baiting, said Obama doesn't put his country first. Your side had the audacity to call Obama a socialist. Your side suggested he was a Muslim. Your side suggested he was a terrorist. Your side suggested he was Osama bin Laden.

Spare me the crap about how both sides do it. You people are a disgrace, you've been a disgrace for eight long years, and all your hate and lying and venom and vitriol finally bit you in your collective fat ass.

Democrats don't do nasty, and they certainly don't do it well. Lord knows I wish they did, but they don't. Republicans elevate it to a religion. You are the party of Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity. Angry, bitchy, bitter and elitist. What do we have to compare? Jesse Jackson, I often hear from my Republican friends. Um, maybe in 1980 when he was relevant. It's been 28 years, got any other examples? Michael Moore, you say? What has Michael Moore said - name one thing - that's comparable to the filth that regularly issues forth from Limbaugh, Hannity and Coulter and, of late, McCain and Palin?

Democrats, when they skewer (which isn't often enough), do it with biting truth. Republicans skewer, early and often, with vicious lies. It goes back to a more general philosophy that liberals have: If we just tell them the truth, the people will agree with us. Republicans are far less sanguine. They know that a good lie beats the truth any day of the week.

Except on a Tuesday in November.

In response to being asked if I will move back to the US now that Obama won.

2008-11-05T09:23:00.002-05:00

We also stayed up late to watch Obama's brilliant speech. Emilio cried and I got a little misty eyed at the idea of hope and change in the US. I am afraid the hope I have for the US does not include equality for our families. This morning it appears Prop 8 in California passed. If California cannot pass support for marriage equality by popular vote, then I have little hope it will happen on the national level within this generation. Canada is so far ahead of the US that I doubt they have a chance of catching up. It would be insane for me to give up full and equal rights, healthcare for the rest of my life regardless of my employment status, the ability to vote my conscience rather than the lesser of two evils and to live in a place that truly believes religion does not belong in our bedrooms, boardrooms and Government. I enjoy the fact that my family is not used as political cannon fodder in Canada. It is actually against the law here to even speak violence against us based on our sexual orientation. The US cannot even pass ENDA to stop us from being fired from our jobs or hate crime laws against murdering us. Obtaining US immigration rights to sponsor Emilio is going to be a hate-filled, gut wrenching battle. The center/right in the US is not going to allow a break through for our rights on the national level and 30,000 bi-national couples in the US just do not have enough influence to get it done. Overturning all of those state constitutional amendments not only banning marriage but any right for our families is going to take decades and frankly I am not willing to spend the next half of my life as a second class citizen when I have first class status here.

I am happy the United States is moving forward and ending the far right reign of incompetence, but I am cynical the progress of the country will actually include equality for the GLBT population.

Our friend Lisa sent me these sad facts this morning about the election.

Arizona, ban on gay marriage -- Yes, 56%

Arkansas, ban on gay couples/unmarried couples adopting children -- Yes, 57%

California, ban on gay marriage -- Yes, 52%

Florida, ban on gay marriage -- Yes, 62%

Nebraska, end Affirmative Action -- Yes, 58%

South Dakota, abortion limits (illegal except for rape and incest) -- Correction No, 55% So there is some hope

Hacked!

2008-11-01T19:14:00.002-04:00

Someone keeps posting advertisements on our blog using Emilio's account. He's changed the password yet it happened again.

Speaking of hacks, I mailed my US ballot in a few weeks ago. I was far more excited about voting against the biggest evangelical scumbag hack I know in Congress. My former Congressman Ernie Scott Garrett. Some of you who have read my archives know I wrote letters against him in my local papers when we lived in New Jersey. I am happy to report a blind rabbi named Dennis Schulman is neck and neck in the race to unseat the monster. I was more than happy to vote against Garrett who voted in favor of dog fighting, against aid to Katrina victims, is against choice even in the case of rape and incest and believes the US should be run by his narrow and vicious version of Christianity.

I admit Obama won me over and got my vote. I decided to cling to the hope he and the Democrats will actually do something for our families and for the tired state of my former country because hope is all we can count on when it comes to them. Their lack of action in the past is still an unhealed wound.

I have to say something though. Despite the hell the US put us through, despite the financial burden of fighting in the US all those years, despite leaving my friends and family... I must admit moving to Canada was one of the best decisions of my life. Although I didn't realize it as we went through it I am now so glad we were forced to leave and come to this great county. Last night we had a halloween party and I commented to a friend, "I didn't even know these people a year ago". It's amazing the good that change can bring into your life.

Micro Managing and Condo Living

2008-10-19T10:40:00.002-04:00

This is my first experience living in a condo. Our building is not registered yet so we actually will not own our unit until it is completed. Due to an incompetent builder this is taking way too long.

My most recent beef about living here are some of the residents and their passive aggressive manner in trying to force their neighbours to conform to their will. One thing I am not is a conformist. There is a private Facebook group for our condo that is starting to look like a 4th grade playground with people talking about other people's curtains, balcony netting to dissuade pidgeons, and specifically our flowers and doormat were mentioned. So I made a comment on the forum that "We need to be careful not to micro manage our neighbour's lives". It's already proven an unpopular post. What I don't understand is that some of these people are actually stressed about these stupid silly little issues and rather than actually knocking on their neighbour's door to discuss them, they rant about it online. My advice is for them to get a life. Life is way too short to worry about the small stuff.

It goes without saying I am still yearning to have a house again. The condo nazis are all the more reason. Just to be more neighbourly my doormat is now inside. I hope they can sleep better now. LOL

And now what?

2008-10-17T09:51:00.001-04:00

Happy Anniversary

2008-10-10T10:32:00.003-04:00

One year ago today we became permanent residents of Canada. I just looked back and read my post about the uneventful landing at the border.
One year flew by so quickly for us. Last night Emilio and I went to a pub with Adam of Canada Boomdiada and I was able to open up to him about the good (and small amount of bad) this move has provided us.
It's interesting to me that a year ago I really didn't know much about Canada, as most Americans I was pretty lame about my knowledge of other nations. Now after living here for 10 months I can say what I do know about Canada makes me proud and fortunate to be living here. Sure Canada is not perfect, but it sure beats where I came from by leaps and bounds.

I was walking this morning through my neighbourhood thinking about how the seemingly never ending longing anxiety I constantly felt one year ago is gone. We now get to be a normal couple with normal every day problems, it's a delightful gift that Canada gave us. The ability to be ordinary, to not be a political football used by right wing self righteous assholes with agendas.

As I came close to home I saw the 4 chihauhuas I adore from the pack of friends Katie and I made at the dog park where I spend an hour every evening chatting with some really great people and playing with their canine kids. I was petting the beautiful little babies and smiling to my Canadian neighbours expressing what a beautiful day it is today, it's a beautiful day for so many more reasons beyond the weather.

Help!

2008-09-26T15:46:00.003-04:00

I am trying to be calm and rational. I am trying not to overreact, yet am. I just got some news that shook me to the core.

My Niece is....... I can't say it!.........is......oh the humanity!..........in love with a R E P U B L I C AN!

My brilliant left wing beautiful niece that I adore is now telling me I need to be open minded to her Republican boyfriend. I wonder if she had the same converation about me to him. The difference being I didn't choose to be gay or part of any organization that not only is destroying the US, but causing death and turmoil all over the world. An organization whose very platform says Emilio and I should never be considered a family with the ability to enjoy all the rights and privileges they enjoy.

To put the icing on the cake this kid joined the military and is going to Iraq. It just breaks my heart how stupid that political party makes people, to the point they are still signing up for the insane war on Iraq as an act of misguided patriotism. I am sending her a copy of "The Deserter's Tale" by Joshua Key.

The Good and The Bad in Easton PA

2008-09-10T16:23:00.004-04:00

Update- Dad's out of the hospital. He's home on blood thinners hoping they will make the heart beat normally again. If not in 6 weeks he they will shock his heart with the paddles.

First the good. Our friends from Pennsylvania Dennis and John spent the weekend with us. We started up where we left off with them. We had a great time hanging out together and proudly showing them our new city and desperately trying to convince them to move here. I love being with them because they bring out the comedic fun side of me. Sometimes we're pretty immature but we laugh our assess off. So I was bummed as I said goodbye to these dear friends at 10am on Monday for their long drive home to Easton PA

Late afternoon the same day my brother calls. Mark is one of the nicest guys and I can tell when he has bad news. He never comes right out with it he just kinda hems and haws so when he did this my heart began to sink. He told me my Dad's heart is acting up and he was admitted into Easton Hospital with Atrial Fibrillation. My Dad already has a pace maker so this latest event is a surprise and a risk for him to have another stroke. So they have him on extensive blood thinners trying to get his heart to beat regularly. The worst thing about moving here is not being able to be there when my family needs me. My initial reaction was to race down. Emilio cannot come with me because he cannot re-enter the US yet, so it's sucks even more. Plus he just started school this week. We decided I should wait and see. I talk to my Dad every day and my Mom each night getting updates on the progress. I am still deciding if I should just go down and be there for them. It really is painful indecision....do I go...what if he gets better quickly... then gets sick again in a few weeks.... can I go back and forth...what about work....the pets....etc?

So I am just trying to keep my sanity and not doing a very good job of it.

Emi Got a Job

2008-08-16T10:54:00.004-04:00

I am happy to report the lovely and talented Emilio got a job. He just completed his first week. I can't express how much of a relief this was for us. In talking to other couples who move here the wait for a job is not uncommon. So many times Emilio was told he needed "Canadian Work Experience", which to me is just a load of bullshit. I am literally doing the exact same job here as I did in the US. Just last week Emilio was turned down for a bank teller position, the HR person said they hired someone more qualified (Emilio has a University degree in Business Administration). I can't imagine someone with more qualifications even wanting a bank teller job. I was livid and wanted to call the bank myself to rip them a new one, but Emi stopped me. Needless to say he was humiliated and felt defeated.

Then last Thursday Emi got a call from the owner of the company he did temp work for last month. They offered him a full time position! Emi got this job through our friend Kim whose blog is linked here "My Canada Includes Justice". We're fortunate to have made so many wonderful friends since we moved here only 8 short months ago.

I believe there is a degree of anti immigrant sentiment in the work place here. I laugh with my co-workers now about what they thought before they met me and were anticipating "The American" sitting in their midst. They feared all work place fun would immediately stop once I walked in. The preconceived notions of an American were blown out of the water once they got to know me and I told our story about life in the US, especially as a binational gay couple. One said to me "I knew I was going to like you once I realized you dislike the US more than I do".

Here is a great resource we are recommending for newcomers to help overcome the Canadian Work Experience issue. Emi just recently found it and could have really used it 8 months ago.

Career Bridge

Politics and Life

2008-08-03T08:55:00.004-04:00

This morning I was walking Katie and I saw an Obama for President sign on a lawn here in Cabbagetown. How odd to be in Canada and have a sign for the US election. Then I realized just how in tune Canadians are to the US election. It's a topic often discussed by Canadians. Which in turn makes me laugh at Americans who wouldn't even bother to pay attention to an election outside of the borders of the country or their minds. Obama continues to piss me off but then again McCain pisses me off more. I am going to order my ballot because as my friends here pointed out to me if I don't vote then I have no business complaining about it. I explained that's if the US actually will count my vote. I might just have a get together and let the Canadians debate this one out and we decide who is the person I should waste my vote on, why not, they are more informed than most Americans.

I am sick again with strep throat, this is round three. I must have a drug resistant strain. I've talked with people who tell me this is not uncommon their first year when moving and working in a city environment. All I know is it sucks.

I wonder if anyone else has issues with their Canadian Insurance Companies. I have Sun Life for my supplemental and their customer service is awful. They just don't give a damn, and are very unresponsive and heavy handed. I am ready to start a petition at work to have HR dump them. My co-worker laughs as this is more an American thing to do. I told her, "screw that they work for us"

Emilio is not working still, he had a short temp stint working with our friend Kim which was lovely for the time he had there. The situation is back to frustrating for us both. My patience is just about gone and I want him to get any job, while he is still seems more in the direction of getting the right job. It's not easy but we are managing not to fight about it (too muhc). Next month he starts Chef school. I can't wait to take a photo of him in his uniform. Imagine how adorable he's going to look.

Besides some of my negatives above. I love living in the country. I love that I am a first class citizen for the first time in my life and no longer have to fight for my humanity to be recognized. Canada is everything I dreamed it would be and more. It's my home for life.

War Resister Rally in Toronto

2008-07-11T09:52:00.009-04:00

Yesterday we went to a War Resister Rally at University Ave and Queen St W. to support War Resisters in Canada, in particular Robin Long who has been detained and is close to deportation and Corey Glass who was supposed to be deported yesterday but was given a temporary stay.

It was a great turn out. I particulary enjoyed the human chain we made from the US Consulate to the court house where immigration hearings take place.

We were with our friend Kim from "My Canada Includes Justice" and met up with Laura and Allan, Alan or Allen. (There are just too many ways to spell his name and I think I get it wrong every time) of "We Move to Canada".

Emilio and I know all too well what the threat of deporation feels like. We know what it is like to be treated unfairly by government. It is why we relate so well to the plight of the War Resisters.

Bob Rae is our Liberal MP in Toronto Centre and I am happy to see he has a column in The Star supporting the war resisters. Why U.S. war resisters deserve refuge in Canada

Sadly the comments below his article so far are from disgusting Conservatives with nasty small minds.

Why the US needs viable third parties

2008-07-03T08:36:00.004-04:00

I see Barack Obama is moving to the center, the same tactic under Clinton that brought on the Defense of Marriage Act and Don't Ask Don't Tell upon our lives. Also the unregulated corporate graft and rich getting richer policies we still encounter today.

This week Obama came out in support of "Faith Based Iniatives" continuing the idiocy of the Bush adminstration. As if Americans need government incentives to be religious. This iniative already led to Churches robbing tax dollars to proselytize.

Obama also came out in support of the unconstitutional abuses of FISA.

I also got a kick out of Obama denouncing being called a liberal, well if he isn't one...then don't vote for him. It's time proud liberals stop voting for people who have public contempt for you.
Obama keeps praising Reagan and wants to emulate his Presidency. Those of us who lived through the Reagan years do not remember it so fondly. Especially me as a young broke college student who was paying his way through school. When I went into the financial aid office I was told Reagan cut aid and there was no help in sight. I had to switch to full time work and part time school.

In Canada we have the NDP, Green and Bloc parties. I love the NDP personally. The NDP gave us healthcare for life and stand firmly and proudly as the soul of this nation shaming Liberals and Tories into doing the right thing for everyone. They infuse conscience into politics that is a giant void in the US. I am just glad when I can vote here in 2.5 years that I will not have to choose the lesser of two evils.

Update

2008-06-29T10:09:00.003-04:00

Mom and Dad's visit was great and went by way too fast. The week flew by. We showed them many city spots, Allan Gardens, Ashbridge Bay, The Beach, The Toronto Islands, Casa Loma. Emi also took them to The Distillery and The Science center as I recovered from strep throat.

I was surprised how much their visit affected me afterwards. For a brief period I was inconsolable. I am usually not much of a crier but boy did the water works really kick in. It doesn't hit you how much you miss people until you see them again. So the rest of the week for me I was blue.

Then Pride Toronto hit!

Yesterday we went to the Dyke March with Lisa and some of her friends. It's a mini version of the big parade today. The city is buzzing and Emilio and I are amazed how well organized Toronto is with this weekend long event. Streets are completely closed, the flow is much better than the New York Prides we've been to, plus it's 3 full days of pride events with free shows on stages all over the village. We saw the Toronto Men's Chorus, Mel C (Spice Girl) from a distance (we got kicked out because we had our Pride Pup Katie with us) also some killer drag shows like Divinesque. All of this is FREE!

I had a one bad moment. This woman had Henna Tattoos on her hands and was talking to her friends with her hands wide out trying to dry. Her hand brushed my shorts smearing her tattoo and my shorts at the same time. She screamed "UGH!", so I yelled "Ugh!" back. She then tells me in an outraged voice "I spent $30 on that Henna!" (as if it was my fault). Well my Jersey Boy flew out and I said. "Then you should keep your hands to yourself" Her jaw dropped as we walked away laughing. You can take the boy out of jersey but you can't take the Jersey out of the boy. I need to act more Canadian. :)

In true Tom and Emi fashion we were home before 11pm. Such party animals.

Today is the big parade but the weather is looking shitty. We will enjoy it just the same. Afterwards we have our friend Kim's annual pride party and our neighbour Suhail's party later on. We hope to meet the guys...Mike, Doug, Rich, Mason, Nick, Lee, Jason...etc along the way.

Meet The Fockers

2008-06-17T11:40:00.002-04:00

Today my wonderful parents are arriving for a week long visit. This is the longest I have ever gone without seeing them in person. (It's only been 6 months) but it feel much longer because we are used to seeing them on an almost weekly basis.

I am looking forward to showing them the city and to prove to my Mom city life really isn't scary at all. My parent live in the Poconos along with two of my brothers and their families.

The hardest part of moving to Toronto is missing family holidays, life events (my second oldest neice just graduated high school with honours) and just those Sunday dinners where we talked politics, played games and simply made each other laugh. Don't get me wrong Canada is where we belong, where we are whole, equal and happy, I just miss my kin.

I've been thinking of starting a similar "Sunday Dinner" thing here, I just haven't gotten around to it yet.

Reality Check

2008-06-09T20:29:00.003-04:00

We're here almost 6 months and and Emilio is having a very hard time finding a job. He's applying all over the place and networking where ever he can, but he's not having any luck. So those coming after us, save as much as you can before coming, try to secure employment prior to arrival, start your networking as soon as possible.

We're fortunate I was able to keep my job, it's been an wonderful gift that is keeping us going.

We also realized our house dreams are going to take much longer than expected, the market is way too high right now and long overdue for a correction.

We had a great time at WMTC3 last week. I got to play volleyball and we met some really great friends of Laura and Allan. A highlight of the day was meeting Gito, Juan, Fang and Trouble of Wondrous Canadian Renewal.

Plus it was a fundraiser for the War Resister's Support Campaign. I saw on the news today Corey Glass had his deportation stayed until July 10th. So the fight continues. I am having a difficult time persuading Canadian Conseratives to support the resisters, they are just as vulgar as American Conservatives.

War Resisters Win!!

2008-06-04T09:26:00.001-04:00

Canada Lawmakers Ask Harper to Let War Resisters Stay (Update2)

By Greg Quinn
June 3 (Bloomberg) -- Canadian opposition lawmakers urged the government to freeze deportations of U.S. soldiers who fled to Canada after refusing to fight in Iraq, passing a non- binding resolution to pressure Prime Minister Stephen Harper.
Opposition parties with a majority of seats in Parliament asked the government to allow ``conscientious objectors'' to wars not sanctioned by the United Nations, such as the Iraq conflict, to apply for permanent resident status. The resolution urges the Conservative Party government to stop deportations ordered by immigration tribunals. The motion passed by 137 to 110, with the Conservatives voting against.
Harper, who came to power in 2006 promising improved relations with the U.S., hasn't tried to overturn any tribunal decisions ordering U.S. resisters deported. Today's vote conjures up controversial images from the Vietnam War era, when Canada took in thousands of Americans seeking to avoid being drafted or serving when called.
``It is significant, and it would be flouting parliamentary process if the government were to ignore it,'' Sharry Aiken, a law professor specializing in immigration at Queen's University in Kingston, Ontario, said by telephone. ``It's not all that difficult for the government to oblige the motion. It doesn't give them status, it allows them to apply for status.''
Like Vietnam, today there is ``a lot of opposition'' to the Iraq war across Canada yet the government is reluctant to give in to early pressure and let resisters stay, she said.
Refugee Claimants
So far, fewer than 40 Americans have claimed refugee status in Canada because they object to fighting in the Iraq War, according to Danielle Norris, a spokeswoman for Canada's immigration department in Ottawa. The five people who agreed to release details of their cases were denied, she said.
Canadian law requires refugee claimants to demonstrate a ``well-founded fear of persecution'' such as torture or death should they be sent back to their home countries, Norris said. Officials also rely on a UN handbook that says they should consider whether soldiers were drafted into service or volunteered, as in the case of Iraq, she said.
The U.S. Army's maximum penalty for desertion is five years in confinement, dishonorable discharge and loss of all pay and benefits, according to information e-mailed by Maj. Nathan Banks, an army spokesman in Washington.
Banks declined to comment on the Canadian motion. The U.S. embassy in Ottawa referred a telephone call seeking comment to the military.
Corey Glass
The Toronto-based War Resisters Support Campaign estimates there are as many as 200 American Iraq war resisters in Canada. According to a May 22 report in the Toronto Star, 25-year-old Corey Glass is the lone resister ordered deported whose departure has been scheduled.
Glass said in a statement from Ottawa that he's ``thankful to all the Canadians who urged their MPs to support us,'' using the abbreviation for Member of Parliament.
Former Liberal Party Prime Minister Jean Chretien in 2003 refused to send troops to join the war in Iraq because the invasion wasn't backed by the UN, breaking with the U.S. and U.K., traditionally Canada's closest allies. Another Liberal prime minister, Pierre Trudeau, welcomed Vietnam War objectors after his predecessor Lester B. Pearson failed to persuade the U.S. to find a mediated settlement to the conflict.
Vietnam Dodgers
Canada took in between 50,000 and 80,000 Americans during the war in Southeast Asia, according to the War Resisters Support Campaign. Canada's immigration department didn't have figures immediately available on that era.
``We have been undertaking political action and public mobilization in order to get a political solution to the problem, and that's what the vote is about,'' said Lee Zaslofsky, national coordinator for the war resisters' group. Before the vote, he said it would be ``a very big breakthrough for the campaign and the war resisters if the elected representatives of the Canadian people speak on their behalf.''
Zaslofsky, 63, came to Canada from the U.S. in 1970 and sought permanent resident status, after finishing military training in South Carolina and being ordered to report for duty in Vietnam.
``You could apply right at the border,'' he said, adding that the paperwork took just 45 minutes. ``It was surprisingly easy.''
U.S. Relations
David Biette, director of the Canada Institute at the Woodrow Wilson Center in Washington, said while the motion likely won't hurt relations with the U.S., it might raise eyebrows among critics of Canada's immigration policies.
``People who follow immigration and refugee policy in Canada will certainly notice,'' he said. ``There are some people who will say Canada let too many of the wrong kind of people in.''
Jack Layton, leader of the opposition New Democratic Party, said while he's not optimistic the vote will succeed in making Harper change his position, doing so wouldn't affect ties with the U.S.
``Canadians have always taken independent positions,'' he said. ``If anything, I think that that elevates the respect in which many Americans hold Canadians.''
Tim Vail, a spokesman for Immigration Minister Diane Finley, didn't immediately answer a phone call seeking comment on how the government may proceed in light of the vote.
To contact the reporter on this story: Greg Quinn in Ottawa at gquinn1@bloomberg.net. Last Updated: June 3, 2008 17:29 EDT

Rachael Ray's Scarf = What is wrong with the US

2008-05-29T14:15:00.004-04:00

I am amazed at the stupidity of Conservative America. They're insane lemmings with the world view of a dung beetle, moving their political excrement from one stupid fake outrage to another. (see Obama's Auschwitz issue this week as another example). This is ridiculous, pathetic and kinda funny at the same time. Next time someone asks me why the US is going down the tubes. I am going to say, "Rachael Ray's Scarf!"

Dunkin' Donuts pulls Rachael Ray ad after complaints
By MARK JEWELL, AP Business Writer

BOSTON - Dunkin' Donuts has pulled an online advertisement featuring Rachael Ray after complaints that a fringed black-and-white scarf that the celebrity chef wore in the ad offers symbolic support for Muslim extremism and terrorism.

The coffee and baked goods chain said the ad that began appearing online May 7 was pulled over the past weekend because "the possibility of misperception detracted from its original intention to promote our iced coffee."
In the spot, Ray holds an iced coffee while standing in front of trees with pink blossoms.
Critics, including conservative commentator Michelle Malkin, complained that the scarf wrapped around her looked like a kaffiyeh, the traditional Arab headdress. Critics who fueled online complaints about the ad in blogs say such scarves have come to symbolize Muslim extremism and terrorism.
The kaffiyeh, Malkin wrote in a column posted online last Friday, "has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad. Popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos, the apparel has been mainstreamed by both ignorant (and not-so-ignorant) fashion designers, celebrities, and left-wing icons."
A statement issued Wednesday by Canton, Mass.-based Dunkin' Brands Inc., however, said the scarf had a paisley design, and was selected by a stylist for the advertising shoot.
"Absolutely no symbolism was intended," the company said.
Dunkin' spokeswoman Michelle King said the ad appeared on the chain's Web site, as well as other commercial sites.
Amahl Bishara, an anthropology lecturer at the University of Chicago who specializes in media matters relating to the Middle East, said complaints about the scarf's use in the ad demonstrate misunderstandings of Arab culture and the multiple meanings that symbols can take on depending on someone's perspective.
"I think that a right-wing blogger making an association between a kaffiyeh and terrorism is just an example of how so much of the complexity of Arab culture has been reduced to a very narrow vision of the Arab world on the part of some people in the U.S.," Bishara said in a phone interview. "Kaffiyehs are worn every day on the street by Palestinians and other people in the Middle East — by people going to work, going to school, taking care of their families, and just trying to keep warm."
While some extremists and terrorists may wear kaffiyehs, "To reduce their meaning to support for terrorism has a tacit racist tone to it," Bishara said.
Malkin, in a posting following up on last week's column, said of Dunkin's decision to pull the ad, "It's refreshing to see an American company show sensitivity to the concerns of Americans opposed to Islamic jihad and its apologists."
Ray, host of the Food Network television program "30 Minute Meals" as well as a syndicated daytime talk show, began appearing in ads for Dunkin' Donuts in March 2007. When Dunkin' announced the partnership, it said Ray would be featured in TV, print, radio and online spots in a campaign running through 2010.

Moving onward

2008-05-28T09:37:00.002-04:00

Emilio and I have not been very happy with the condo. The developer is impossible to deal with and we quickly learned we aren't condo people. I need some space to grow things and Emilio needs a place he can tinker around. So we are casually looking for a house. We've been checking out neighbourhoods and the Canada MLS. We even have an agent doing searches on new listings. It looks like we might be stuck until the fall when the building is actually registered so we can sell the condo without a penalty. We might consider renting it as an option if we can swing two mortgages. We're still hoping Emilio gets a job soon and this option might actually work.

I've learned an important lesson in moving to Canada. Never settle, if you are not happy with a situation in your life then change it. Life is too short.

War Resisters

2008-05-21T21:17:00.002-04:00

Tonight we met up with Laura & Alan (We Move To Canada) and our friend Kim to hear the US soldier war resisters speak at the University of Toronto. It was moving to hear the stories of these brave men and woman who are waiting for Canada to do the right thing and allow them to stay here safely. Just today one of them (Corey Glass) recieved his order of deportation. I knew the look of worry on his face because Emilio and I had that same look when we worried about his deportation from the US. We also witnessed the tear jerking agony of Gito and Juan (Wonderous Canadian Renewal) as they struggled with a seperation due to unfair laws.
The soldiers have the added stress of imprisonment or to be forced back to fight in an unjust war.

Action needs to be taken:

Call your MP, Call the Prime Minister, Call Diane Finley
Especially call Stephane Dion. As one person in the audience stated, "this is an issue about the conscience of the country".

War Resisters
"Please take a moment tocall Liberal Leader Stéphane Dion at 613.996.6740 or 613.996.5789 Tell him you want the Liberal Party... • to support the Parliamentary motion to allow Iraq War resisters to remain in Canada, • to oppose the deportation of people of conscience who have resisted an illegal war, and • to support the will of the Canadian people, not Stephen Harper’s decision to deport war resisters, and not the U.S.’s war agenda."

Happy Victoria Day---For some

2008-05-20T14:39:00.004-04:00

I was so excited about our first Victoria Day as people living in Canada. My morning went great, I spent a long time playing with Katie and neighborhood dogs at our local park. I was throwing frisbees, balls and hugging Katie's dog buddies.

After over an hour I realized Emilio probably made breakfast so we raced home. Pancakes with chocolate chips....Wooo hoooo! After gobbling them down I decided to cut myself a large piece of cheese. As usual I wasn't paying attention and cut my finger very deep. (mental note to all, Tom is clumsy, he falls often and accidentally break things)

So two hours go by and this damned finger would not stop bleeding. We decided to go the clinic, but they won't take deep cuts, so off to the hospital. Stupid us didn't know where the local ER is located. After trying a bunch of friend's I got a hold of Doug who explained we needed to got St Michaels.

4.5 hours later I got 4 stitches and a tetanus shot. The best part... it cost us nothing, the staff was awesome, the care was very good.

Yay, Gay Marriage in California!

2008-05-17T12:28:00.005-04:00

My former country is getting there. I read that 51% of people polled in the NorthEast and West support SSM. Of course the vile south and mid west are much further behind. No wonder they are the most economically hurt by their idiotic voting records.

I also read in my home state (New Jersey) it looks like it will be the first state to provide SSM by the legislature rather than the courts. That's a giant step forward.

I have to admit I am so pleased I live in a country where the discussion is over. Where I don't have to personally worry about equality any more and can fight for it for others. Emi and I feel great joy in helping others to escape the US to come here.

Rome if you want to!

2008-05-16T08:20:00.003-04:00

Emi and I had a terrfic vacation in Rome. The city was better than we anticipated. We really enjoyed the history, architecture, beauty and especially the food. We also spent a day in Florence and it truly is picture postcard awesome.

Here's some pics out of the 685 we took!

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AYtmTRs0ZNGnP

I usually get a bit melancholy after a vacaton, but this time coming home to Toronto was a happy landing.

Big Day for Life Without Borders

2008-05-03T09:19:00.004-04:00

Two men that we adore are getting married. Nick and Mason from "Life Without Borders" are tying the knot at Toronto City Hall, then we are off to their house to celebrate. This is the first legal gay marriage Emilio and I have the honor to witness. We're so excited to be part of their big day! Woooo Hooooo!

US Elections are a joke

2008-04-30T09:59:00.003-04:00

During the primary the Press and Americans are talking about Flag Lapel Pins and Loud Mouthed Ministers.

They are debating everything but the Iraq War, Healthcare, Increased Poverty, Housing Market Crash, Job Loss, Corporate Bailouts, War Profiteering and Graft, New Orleans still being a mess...........etc.

The same people who control the press and the debate keep asking why people different than them do not love America.

My answer. Straight white Christian Conservatives make it nearly impossible for anyone unlike them to love the country.

I am embarrassed to use my US passport next week and will be hiding it as quickly as I can get it out of sight. 2.5 years until I can proudly travel with a Canadian one.

Unpopular Position on Unions

2008-04-28T14:30:00.003-04:00

The TTC Union strike was a topic of conversation all weekend long. My opinion is the Union was abusive after promising 48 hours notice to commuters if they were to strike. They literally left people stuck all over the city on Friday. From what I am reading the immediate strike was caused by false rumours. For weeks now people in my office have been the pawns in this game between Union and Management.

"The rumour mill killed the deal that the TTC hammered out with the union last Sunday, says TTC chief general manager Gary Webster.
"Some of our employees genuinely believed that our intentions were to contract out the main work on our buses. Nothing could be further from the truth," he said yesterday."

Now I realize as a leftist I am supposed to defend every move a union makes. Sorry, I don't. I witnessed enough abuse working at the Port of Newark as a non union employee that not all union actions are noble.

Do I think employees deserve fair wages and benefits...of course I do. I know the TTC Union employees when injured on the job already get 75% salary (Short term) and 85% (Long Term) without having to pay taxes on the income, which looks about 100% or more of their salary to me. They want more because others get more. That's not a valid justification for getting over 100% of your salary.

"However, Kinnear has said it's unlikely the mediator will be able to resolve the issue of injury compensation. Workers who take short-term leave following a job-related injury lose 25 per cent of their pay. If they qualify for workers' compensation, they still lose 15 per cent. Kinnear said that's an injustice when city workers and TTC management get 100 per cent of their pay if they're sick or injured."

If a false rumour triggers a strike, then I suggest the Union had better take their positions and communication more seriously.

I also should add I avoid the TTC to the point even on -30 degree days I walk to work because the rush hour service is horrible.

See this post over at WMTC about Canada Immigration Reform

2008-04-17T12:40:00.002-04:00

http://wmtc.blogspot.com/2008/04/immigration-reform-and-this-endless.html

Get those application in folks! The Tories and their power grabs make me nervous.

From Laura WMTC:

"The Toronto Star's Carol Goar had a good piece about it last month, and it's still relevant. Emphasis mine.

It is possible that Immigration Minister Diane Finley wants more power to do exactly what she says: clean up her department's enormous backlog of unprocessed applications.It is also possible that she is equipping herself to transform Canada's overloaded immigration system into a lean, business-friendly recruitment tool.Both interpretations fit the available facts. The determining factor will be how the minister uses her expanded mandate.Legal experts are still parsing the changes to the Immigration and Refugee Protection Act, introduced on March 14. But the preliminary consensus is that they are much more significant than Canadians have been told.

Under the new legislation, the immigration minister would have the authority to:

Limit the number of immigration applications Canada accepts.

Deny admission to applicants already approved by immigration officers.

Block the entry of would-be immigrants "by category or otherwise."........

The clock ticks on

2008-04-17T11:08:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I turned 41. I am not big on Birthdays so I spent it quietly with Emi.
I've been under the weather since last weekend and my voice still sounds like I smoke 10 packs of Marlboros a day. Emilio laughs when I imitate the gravelly CTV voice over guy.,"Viewer discretion is strongly advised"

I have to say I am glad to be here in Toronto for this one. Last year was such a confusing and stressful era of our lives. It's amazing for me to go back and read my posts in the archives. It's reminds me why I am here and to appreciate that here exists.

We're going to Rome

2008-04-08T09:57:00.003-04:00

Emilio and I are taking our first "real" vacation together. We booked one week in Rome for early May. We're both so excited and happy we can now finally travel after 6 years.
Thanks Canada for giving us the ability to do something we both love. Screw you U.S. for taking it away from us! LOL

Life is Good

2008-04-05T13:08:00.003-04:00

Finally spring has sprung. It was a long winter here in Toronto and as so many Torontonians remind me this was the worst one in a long time.

I love spring, I get excited seeing Tulips, Daffodils and Crocus popping out of the ground. It's warm today and we are going with Robin and Mike to Riverdale Farm to see the new animal babies.

Our Katie is on Puppy Prozac and it's wonderful, she's calm and for the first time in her 10 years I can take her to the dog park, we go to Allen Gardens and she's has fun rather than trying to bite other dogs. I think Allen Gardens is my favorite place in Toronto. I just love it and luckily I get to walk through it on my walk to and from work.

Last night we went to see Margaret Cho at Massey Hall with Robin, Mike, Alberto and Andrew. She was so much fun to see in person. Emilio and I are still laughing today. On the walk home from the show Emilio and I talked about how great it is to live in a city and be able to walk to see shows. We have tickets to see Cirque du Soleil and the "True Colors" concert this summer. I can't wait to see the B52s!

I hope everyone enjoys the re-birth of spring and gets enerrgized from it while waiting to come home to Canada.

Canadian Hope Meets Two Moms to Canada

2008-03-23T18:51:00.003-04:00

Today we had the pleasure of having brunch with MSEH, P and 7 year old.
They were in Toronto overnight due to a plane mix up. It was great to see this wonderful family in person. Once again it's like meeting old friends sharing life experiences. It sounds like Fredericton is a dream come true for them. 7 year old stole our hearts, he's gregarious and smart as a whip. I felt so fortunate to spend Easter with them as I was missing my family very much today.

I am amazed at the bravery of people leaving the US by choice. It such a huge step and I wondered if I would have done it if we weren't a binational couple.

We hope to see them in Fredericton this summer.

Canadian Hope Meets Tomausviews

2008-03-20T20:40:00.003-04:00

Yesterday we met the Southern Belle half (Tamara) of Tomausviews. She came to Toronto just overnight to do some banking and having their application checked out by an attorney. We decided to give her the $0.10 tour of Toronto. It was like meeting an old friend. There is a kindred spirit when I meet someone from our blog family.

In a nutshell she is lovely and we enjoyed showing off our new city and sharing immigration war stories. We hope we get to meet Julia very soon. I am sure she missed her honey as we whisked her from one end of toronto to the next. I realized when we got home last night I didn't use the GPS once during the drive. That's a first for me!

Let's hope CIC makes the process shorter for all those waiting. We're here waiting to welcome you all with open arms.

I need your help

2008-03-15T22:47:00.004-04:00

I want to start an organization to help people get out of countries where it is unsafe to be gay. I want to help them come here to Canada.
I searched the internet and didn't find an organization I can volunteer for so why don't we all start one.

Does anyone have an idea where to begin, even what to call it?

Jamaica, Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Aruba, Egypt, Bahamas, anyone from these places or elsewhere let us know how we can help?

It's not all wine and roses

2008-03-15T21:06:00.004-04:00

Last weekend we had a major snowstorm and Emi worked his butt off. After 3 days of double shifts and his tractor constantly breaking down he'd reached a breaking point. At the same time last Saturday I got a wicked bad sore throat that took me out of action. On Monday I was certain it was strep and even though we were mere days away from health care for life, I paid $65 for a doctor's visit to find out for sure, it wasn't but it looked and felt like it.

Our condo just doesn't feel like a home yet. There are so many issues with this builder and the residents are really pissed off. You can't even take an elevator ride without hearing about it and at the same time looking at the worker's graffiti and garbage. I really miss my house, I miss my Garden, my enormous bedroom, our large kitchen, I miss my family, I miss my cousin Diane, I miss John, Dennis, Karen, Ash, and Nigl. Here we are literally living in what was our two car garage in NJ. A two car garage that was built better. Emilio tried to hang a simple shelf and hit a water line because these idiots don't know you don't run water lines along studs.

Buying furniture in Canada is totally weird. We bought our couch in January, yet it's expected to arrive this Wednesday. It's not like the US where you can get the item the same week. It takes a long time, which means we are living with boxes for a long time. The computer armoire is coming on Thursday so we can finally put some office things away.
So hopefully we can actually have company soon.

Fortunately today felt like spring and me and the hubby got out here. We had our first day at our new gym. We enjoyed it, then we went to Chinatown to our favorite restaurant in that area, then we walked thru the bohemian Kensington Market where we bought T-Shirts to celebrate St Pat's day tomorrow with Mason of "Life Without Borders". On the street car ride home we got off in our Cabbagetown and shopped a bit on Parliament Street. We were reminded quickly why we love Toronto and we really needed today to remind us.

All is well...sorta

2008-03-07T19:53:00.006-05:00

We're still very happy in our new home city. Last weekend we had a blast playing 5 pin bowling with our friends. I was the high scorer of the night and Emilio won an award for his Fred Flintstone technique. They split up all the expat US guys so Nick, Mason, Emilio and I were all on different teams.

Our new home is proving a challenge. I never realized what a headache new construction can be. Now I know why you get such a good deal buying before the building is built. We're battling daily with the builder and making some progress. Fortunately Emilio is super hand and right now he's installing a new fan in the master bath, the one the builder put in is about as subtle sounding as a 747 taking off.

I have to say I am thrilled with my 1/2 hour walk through downtown to work. It's great and I get to sleep later than I have in years. Poor sweet Emilio is going crazy with all the snow. It's a real insane amount of snow this year and his temp job plowing the streets of Toronto in his little tractor is really kicking his butt. (I am dying to get a photo of him in his tractor but he won't let me)

I sit with three women and at work and have a blast with them every day. We're going to be split up soon, Kally's having a baby, Marisa is being transferred and Mary and I don't know where they want to move us. They really made my transition as the "new guy" very easy. We still get a blast at the looks on people's face when I come out to them. Why people assume I am straight is beyond me? So far I am the only openly gay person there, which I find weird. There has got to be others and the company, Toronto and Canada are not exactly places you need to hide it.

Next week we get our couch, so we can finally invite friends over. Woo hoo.

Surprise!!!! here is the photo of me on the dammed tractor!

Moving Bites and Shedding Boxes

2008-02-22T10:08:00.003-05:00

We are in the middle of our move and as moves go it sucks. I won't bore you with all the details.
I was thinking last night as I looked around at all our boxes of stuff. Everything of modest value Emilio and I bought for our house or each other over the years was in it's original box. It was forward thinking on our part to save the original packaging to prevent damage in a future move that at the time was just in our imagination, but then I thought how friggin sad our state of mind was that our lives in the US was so fragile we didn't even throw away these boxes. How horrible the United States is to it's gay and lesbian families to put us in that state of mind. To put our lives in turmoil because we were born different.

It makes me all the more happy we made this move, now we can finally throw away those boxes. We're safe in Canada.

One of those weeks

2008-02-10T10:47:00.000-05:00

This week was a lesson in patience for us. My job proved very demanding, one of the busiest weeks I've had and Emilio has been working for our friends Doug and Rich clearing snow from the sidewalks of Toronto. It was a snowy week and Em, Rich and Doug had to work their butts off.

The real hum dinger this week is the condo. Emilio and I were running our all week getting paint and accessories. We did our walk thru inspection on Tuesday and the unit was not done but liveable. The builder has 30 days to fix everything even while you are living there. The deal is you rent your unit until the building reaches a certain capacity then your mortgage kicks in. We are the 2nd floor so we are the first in. We freaked at the rent price which is 7.35% of the unpaid balance, much higher than what our mortgage will be because we do not make our bulk payment until the mortgage starts. So on Thursday at lunch we went to our lawyers to sign the unit possession documents and pay with certified check our first months rent plus 8 post dated checks. In the evening, a few short hours later, we get a frantic call from our lawyer that the building failed the Certificate of Occupancy and we have to delay moving to around the 19th. There was vandalism earlier in January where someone opened a water valve on the top floor and flooded the entire building causing $100,000 damage. This apparently wasn't fixed enough for occupancy. We didn't notice any damage.

So we had to cancel the POD, the moving crew, furniture deliveries, cable & phone, utilties, and appliance delivery all with very late notice. I am sure I don't need to say that this all sucked royally.

I think our blog family members need a pick me up

2008-01-30T10:57:00.000-05:00

The newest members of our blog family are going through some hard times. The application process can be a pain in the neck and at the same time the unfairness of the US cuts so very deep.

So it's time for me to give you some hope. Emilio and I are flourishing here. I have never felt more at home in my life than in Toronto. This city and Canadians in general are the salt of the earth. There is genuine kindness here. People are interested in your well being. You are not reminded everyday when you wake up that you are a second class citizen, here everyone is a first class citizen. I am sleeping better than I have in years and we have terrific new friends and a promising future. The stress and headaches of the last 6 years in the US have melted away, now my biggest concern is picking the right paint color for the condo or deciding where Emilio and I will go on our first vacation together on an airplane.

Last weekend I was able to do something completely selfless. I joined Laura from We Move to Canada and Nick from Life Without Borders to protest the deportation of US war resisters who came to Canada seeking refuge. I am so happy that I now have time and energy for important issues, something the US took away from me.

Above is a pic of me mailing my letters to Stephan Dion, Diane Finley and Stephen Harper asking them to change the immigration rules to allow these brave men and women to remain in Canada rather than be thrown in jail in the US for doing what is morally right and just.

So remember a better life is ahead it's just a matter of time.

I pay taxes!

2008-01-20T11:10:00.000-05:00

Who would have thought that would make a guy happy, but it does. I am no longer paying for the Iraq war and our second class citizenship. I no longer have to susidize the wealthiest Americans or the vile Republican and Democratic parties. I am gladly paying my taxes to Canada now, the real land of the free and equal.

My first week in the Toronto office went great. The people I work with are very nice, it's a real fun work environment. I also get a kick out of coming out to people and seeing their reactions. Yes, Canadians too get a little freaked when you say you are gay when they assume you are straight.
Nothing negative, just a brief look of wonder, then a quick recovery.

Today we also sold the Scion. I did a media blitz yesterday all over the net posting it here, there and every where and we had alot of people interested. The first couple to come by to see it, loved it. Poor Emi is sad, he has a very special relationship with his "Super Scion".

Also February 8th is the condo hand over date!!!!!!

Seis Años de Amor

2008-01-13T13:11:00.000-05:00

Today is our 6th anniversary, six years of love.